We have heat! It feels like a little miracle. The boiler man came today and fixed it in about ten minutes. I was so glad. Yesterday was very, very cold and I wasn't looking forward to another day like that. But now we don't have to. Heat! Yay!!
Had a very quiet weekend. Our local grocery store has surprisingly started selling crawfish. I was delighted and bought a bunch to make jambalaya. I made a big pot of it on Saturday and Tobes and I ate loads of it. I'm so pleased that he's open to trying new foods. Or at least I was until he started vomiting jambalaya all over our bed at 2.30am.... then again at 3.00....3.30....4.30.....5.00. What a night. To top it all I stumbled downstairs around 3am for water and dry crackers, forgot to turn off the motion sensors and set our burglar alarm off. I'm sure the neighbors appreciated that.
Nothing like tripping over things in the dark, stepping on Legos, stripping the bed while half asleep and trying to care for a sick baby at the same time. We got through one duvet cover, two sheets, two pairs of pajamas (Toby's), three bath towels, countless wash cloths and two pillows. The pillows had to be chucked out but it's a small price to pay to save the rest of the carpet and mattress. Toby can't quite make it to a bucket yet so the pillows had to stand in for one. As did my cupped hands at one point. I guess that's just what parents do.
J came home on Sunday and we all had a long nap in the afternoon and an early night. Now J's home and we have heat so hopefully things will get back to normal.
Something happened the other day at the Aquarium. It was a tiny thing but I keep thinking about it. There were some other little boys standing next to Tobes at one point. They were a bit older, three maybe four years old. One of the boys asked Toby his name and when he replied the little boy turned to his friend and said 'Booby! He said his name is Booby!' They then started laughing and saying 'Hi Booby'. Now, I know kids do these things and I wasn't upset but the look on Toby's face just broke my heart. He desperately wanted to be liked by those boys and join in their laughter but he sensed that they were laughing at him and he didn't know what to do. He looked at me with a confused, slightly worried expression and I just smiled and said 'Silly boys' and he was OK and smiled and started laughing too.
It just reminded me how vulnerable he is and made me think about all the things in the future that will hurt his feelings. I remember reading once that having children is like letting your heart walk around outside your body and that is so true. Tobes has probably already forgotten about those boys but I don't think I ever will. It was the first moment that I realised that I won't be there to protect him all the time. The first time I truly realised that he's going to grow up and go out into the world one day. Oh my god.
Monday, January 31, 2005
Friday, January 28, 2005
Psychotic clowns in the attic
Not a lot to say today. Went to view a flat in Blackheath but it needed too much work. It was Victorian and I swear it had the original wallpaper - and I don't mean that in a good way. Tobes and I went for hot chocolates afterwards and walked around the village. I loooooove Blackheath and really hope we can move there within the next 18 months or so.
Then I spoke to the boiler people again, no improvement on the situation. We've been fine though. My friend George gave me a pair of fleece pajamas for Tobes and he's tucked up fast asleep with two hot water bottles (yes, we really use them). I've got the heater on down here but it makes very little difference. When I get really cold I go in the kitchen and turn all the burners on high, open the oven door and toast myself. Works very well.
I did survive going up into the loft but must admit that I didn't get the heaters. I went out and bought a new one. I got the ladder out of the garden shed, got it upstairs with minimal damage to myself and the stairwell, got to the top of the ladder and started shining my flashlight around the darkness of the loft looking for the heaters. After about a millisecond every Stephen King novel I read in my teens started playing through my head. I just knew that the beam of my flashlight was going to suddenly fall onto a bloody dead hand or a psychotic clown hiding in the corner. I shimmied back down that ladder so fast I almost tore my tights. So I totally wimped out. I hang my head in shame.
Until I can get a permanent list up I thought I would share some of my favourite urls:
www.elizabethdunne.com : This is my friend Elizabeth's blog. She totally inspired me to give this a shot. I am completely in awe of her wonderful blog and you guys should check it out. Elizabeth is a fellow expat American, married to an Englishman, Southern gal, has a two year old (the gorgeous Mary Catherine whom Toby adores and is about the only child that he has never pushed or hit, it must be love). So we have a lot in common and once you read her blog you'll understand why I like her so much.
www.shutterfly.com : For sharing photos online, developing digital photos and making some great cards, albums, mugs, etc.
www.fertilityfriend.com : For anyone wanting to learn how to chart their temps to work out ovulation.
www.ovusoft.com : Another fertility based website but there are all kinds of discussion groups too that I love.
www.mumsnet.com : A UK site for Moms (or Mums, I should say) with information on all kinds of child related topics like the best double stroller, the best high chair, etc. Also some great discussion boards.
www.mrsmartypants.org : This is where I go for my daily Bold & the Beautiful update. I really miss American soaps!
http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/indexsnt.htm : I'm not religious myself but I am a lover of religion and I love this site. There are patron saints for almost everything. I can spend ages just reading through the lists and histories here.
www.makeupalley.com : For some girly research.
www.artfund.org : Where I held my last and favourite job before giving it all up for my current life of glamour. A really fantastic organisation.
www.tesco.com : I get a grocery delivery from them a couple times a month.
www.target.com : Where I go to drool over giant ice coolers, and frustrate myself by comparing everything to UK prices.
www.potterybarn.com : Another place I go to drool and curse the lack in international delivery.
Then I spoke to the boiler people again, no improvement on the situation. We've been fine though. My friend George gave me a pair of fleece pajamas for Tobes and he's tucked up fast asleep with two hot water bottles (yes, we really use them). I've got the heater on down here but it makes very little difference. When I get really cold I go in the kitchen and turn all the burners on high, open the oven door and toast myself. Works very well.
I did survive going up into the loft but must admit that I didn't get the heaters. I went out and bought a new one. I got the ladder out of the garden shed, got it upstairs with minimal damage to myself and the stairwell, got to the top of the ladder and started shining my flashlight around the darkness of the loft looking for the heaters. After about a millisecond every Stephen King novel I read in my teens started playing through my head. I just knew that the beam of my flashlight was going to suddenly fall onto a bloody dead hand or a psychotic clown hiding in the corner. I shimmied back down that ladder so fast I almost tore my tights. So I totally wimped out. I hang my head in shame.
Until I can get a permanent list up I thought I would share some of my favourite urls:
www.elizabethdunne.com : This is my friend Elizabeth's blog. She totally inspired me to give this a shot. I am completely in awe of her wonderful blog and you guys should check it out. Elizabeth is a fellow expat American, married to an Englishman, Southern gal, has a two year old (the gorgeous Mary Catherine whom Toby adores and is about the only child that he has never pushed or hit, it must be love). So we have a lot in common and once you read her blog you'll understand why I like her so much.
www.shutterfly.com : For sharing photos online, developing digital photos and making some great cards, albums, mugs, etc.
www.fertilityfriend.com : For anyone wanting to learn how to chart their temps to work out ovulation.
www.ovusoft.com : Another fertility based website but there are all kinds of discussion groups too that I love.
www.mumsnet.com : A UK site for Moms (or Mums, I should say) with information on all kinds of child related topics like the best double stroller, the best high chair, etc. Also some great discussion boards.
www.mrsmartypants.org : This is where I go for my daily Bold & the Beautiful update. I really miss American soaps!
http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/indexsnt.htm : I'm not religious myself but I am a lover of religion and I love this site. There are patron saints for almost everything. I can spend ages just reading through the lists and histories here.
www.makeupalley.com : For some girly research.
www.artfund.org : Where I held my last and favourite job before giving it all up for my current life of glamour. A really fantastic organisation.
www.tesco.com : I get a grocery delivery from them a couple times a month.
www.target.com : Where I go to drool over giant ice coolers, and frustrate myself by comparing everything to UK prices.
www.potterybarn.com : Another place I go to drool and curse the lack in international delivery.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
I don't bloody believe it
A note of warning for those with a sensitive nature - there may be a few swear words in this entry. Or, as we say in Texas - I'm gonna do me some cussin'.
Came home after a really great day at the London Aquarium to find that our boiler is busted. The damn thing is barely a year old. First thing I did - freak out. Then I calmed down and called the number on the boiler. It's still under warranty and they're going to send someone out as soon as possible. Unfortunately, to them that means sometime on Monday. I said in my prissiest, poshest, most English accent 'Well, that's just not good enough is it.' I then ruined the whole effect by lapsing into Texan (it always comes out when I'm angry, tired or have drunk too much and I was two out of three by this point (angry and tired)) and said too loudly 'So whut the haaail are you gonna do 'bout it!' That completely blew my chances of any help. Rudeness is one of the greatest sins in England. Even after pleading my case of having a two year old baby and asking to speak to a superior I was quite tartly told that an engineer will be here on Monday, no sooner.
Once I banged the phone against the table a couple of times and thought about the situation I realised that we're really not that badly off. Our shower is electric, which means the water is heated on demand, so we'll still be clean. Our dishwasher works the same way so we'll have clean dishes. We'll be freezing our butts off but we won't smell bad. I even broke down and called J just so I could vent. He's in California with work this week and I hated doing it but just hearing his voice made me feel better and he reminded me that we have some electric heaters in the loft. So perhaps our butts won't be quite so cold.
I do have the joy of going up into the loft tomorrow to retrieve the heaters. That's going to be interesting. I can be remarkably coordinated when it comes to things like roller skating, swimming, dancing, but I'm also a complete klutz. I have visions of crashing through the ceiling, ladders falling down the stairs. Ah well, it's going to be a little adventure.
And then there's this little conversation which was had right after the phone/table banging:
Toby: (with a quizzical look) Mama angry?
Me: Yes, darling but not with you. I'm angry at the boiler because it's not working.
T: (to the boiler) Naughty boiler! Say sorry to Mama.
He just melts my heart.
Came home after a really great day at the London Aquarium to find that our boiler is busted. The damn thing is barely a year old. First thing I did - freak out. Then I calmed down and called the number on the boiler. It's still under warranty and they're going to send someone out as soon as possible. Unfortunately, to them that means sometime on Monday. I said in my prissiest, poshest, most English accent 'Well, that's just not good enough is it.' I then ruined the whole effect by lapsing into Texan (it always comes out when I'm angry, tired or have drunk too much and I was two out of three by this point (angry and tired)) and said too loudly 'So whut the haaail are you gonna do 'bout it!' That completely blew my chances of any help. Rudeness is one of the greatest sins in England. Even after pleading my case of having a two year old baby and asking to speak to a superior I was quite tartly told that an engineer will be here on Monday, no sooner.
Once I banged the phone against the table a couple of times and thought about the situation I realised that we're really not that badly off. Our shower is electric, which means the water is heated on demand, so we'll still be clean. Our dishwasher works the same way so we'll have clean dishes. We'll be freezing our butts off but we won't smell bad. I even broke down and called J just so I could vent. He's in California with work this week and I hated doing it but just hearing his voice made me feel better and he reminded me that we have some electric heaters in the loft. So perhaps our butts won't be quite so cold.
I do have the joy of going up into the loft tomorrow to retrieve the heaters. That's going to be interesting. I can be remarkably coordinated when it comes to things like roller skating, swimming, dancing, but I'm also a complete klutz. I have visions of crashing through the ceiling, ladders falling down the stairs. Ah well, it's going to be a little adventure.
And then there's this little conversation which was had right after the phone/table banging:
Toby: (with a quizzical look) Mama angry?
Me: Yes, darling but not with you. I'm angry at the boiler because it's not working.
T: (to the boiler) Naughty boiler! Say sorry to Mama.
He just melts my heart.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Before saying goodnight
Results of Weight Watchers meeting: gained 1lb
Do I really want to lose some weight: yes
What I had for dinner tonight: Dominos pizza (with low fat mozarella)
What I'm eating right now: a chocolate flapjack
Doesn't really add up does it?
Blimey, I hate dieting. Food is such an easy, simple pleasure and one you can (must!) indulge in every single day. There aren't many pleasures like that. It's not as if I can have a full body massage and facial every day but I can pick up the phone and have a hot, gooey pizza delivered within half an hour. Now that is satisfaction.
Oh lord, and speaking of beautifying treatments.... I got sucked into the vortex that surrounds the cosmetics department at House of Fraser today. It spat me out half an hour later almost unrecognisable under half an inch of slap (that's make-up for the non-Anglicised Yanks reading this) and looking strangely orange. Amazingly, I actually bought two of the recommended products, both by Benefit - Lemon-aid 'to cover those dark circles under your eyes'. This was said by Dame Edna who seems to be working in Cosmetics at H of F these days. I also bought a quite nice peachy coloured powder called Georgia to give me 'a warm, happy complexion'. Warm and happy always sounds good. I think the Georgia was to blame for my orange tint but I won't use half the box when I apply it myself. And I can't even remember what I went in there for in the first place.
I was hoping to include a pic of my gorgeous boy with his first Pez dispenser. We bought it today and it's Dash from The Incredibles. He loves it. You can tell he thinks it must be the world's most amazing invention. It does make my little American heart beat faster to see him with it. I have very fond memories of Pez dispensers when I was growing up, Wonder Woman being the all-time favourite. Maybe they're an international thing. Pez certainly doesn't sound like an American English word. Anyone know the history of Pez? Anyway, having problems with images again. Just my lack of knowledge, experience, patience, etc. Hope to get it posted soon.
And now, off to pour a glass of wine and curl up with Desperate Housewives. So nice to get a weekly dose of glamour and scandal. British TV seems to be a lot of depressed and quite unattractive people.... but that's a whole new topic for another day. Good night!
Do I really want to lose some weight: yes
What I had for dinner tonight: Dominos pizza (with low fat mozarella)
What I'm eating right now: a chocolate flapjack
Doesn't really add up does it?
Blimey, I hate dieting. Food is such an easy, simple pleasure and one you can (must!) indulge in every single day. There aren't many pleasures like that. It's not as if I can have a full body massage and facial every day but I can pick up the phone and have a hot, gooey pizza delivered within half an hour. Now that is satisfaction.
Oh lord, and speaking of beautifying treatments.... I got sucked into the vortex that surrounds the cosmetics department at House of Fraser today. It spat me out half an hour later almost unrecognisable under half an inch of slap (that's make-up for the non-Anglicised Yanks reading this) and looking strangely orange. Amazingly, I actually bought two of the recommended products, both by Benefit - Lemon-aid 'to cover those dark circles under your eyes'. This was said by Dame Edna who seems to be working in Cosmetics at H of F these days. I also bought a quite nice peachy coloured powder called Georgia to give me 'a warm, happy complexion'. Warm and happy always sounds good. I think the Georgia was to blame for my orange tint but I won't use half the box when I apply it myself. And I can't even remember what I went in there for in the first place.
I was hoping to include a pic of my gorgeous boy with his first Pez dispenser. We bought it today and it's Dash from The Incredibles. He loves it. You can tell he thinks it must be the world's most amazing invention. It does make my little American heart beat faster to see him with it. I have very fond memories of Pez dispensers when I was growing up, Wonder Woman being the all-time favourite. Maybe they're an international thing. Pez certainly doesn't sound like an American English word. Anyone know the history of Pez? Anyway, having problems with images again. Just my lack of knowledge, experience, patience, etc. Hope to get it posted soon.
And now, off to pour a glass of wine and curl up with Desperate Housewives. So nice to get a weekly dose of glamour and scandal. British TV seems to be a lot of depressed and quite unattractive people.... but that's a whole new topic for another day. Good night!
I've decided...
...that this blogging is a great thing for me. I've actually been using the words 'I' and 'me' rather than 'we' or, more often, 'Toby' all the time. It's been quite a while since I really thought about what I had to say or how I felt about things. Very therapeutic.
And now I'm off for a little ritual humiliation - the Weight Watchers weigh-in. God help my soul but I really want to get into my cute pink tweed trousers before the winter is over. Do you think the dozen cookies I ate yesterday will have turned to fat already? Not very good at this dieting thing.
And for the record, yes I did another test this morning (sorry, Nana!). It was negative, of course. That makes four negative tests. I'm starting to think I might not be pregnant.
And now I'm off for a little ritual humiliation - the Weight Watchers weigh-in. God help my soul but I really want to get into my cute pink tweed trousers before the winter is over. Do you think the dozen cookies I ate yesterday will have turned to fat already? Not very good at this dieting thing.
And for the record, yes I did another test this morning (sorry, Nana!). It was negative, of course. That makes four negative tests. I'm starting to think I might not be pregnant.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Exhausted tonight
A friend came over with her boys today. It was great to see them and Tobes and I baked cookies before they got here so it was a freezing cold day but we had warm cookies to eat. After an hour or so Tobes got 'over stimulated' and started pushing and hitting the other little boy. After half a dozen time outs Tobes was still cranky and resentful. Meanwhile, I had half my hair hanging out of my ponytail on one side and a stonking headache.
I have got to get this kid into a playgroup or preschool. I think it would be good for him to socialise with other children more regularly and learn that there are rules, not just 'Mommy rules', but real Rules of Behavior. And, to be quite honest, I would benefit from a little time away from him. We're together almost 24 hours a day and I mean that quite literally as he ends up in our bed most nights. I little separation would be a good thing. The problem is that there are waiting lists for everything. Tobes is down for a great preschool but they can't take him until September. At the moment I'm not sure either of us will survive until then. I'm making calls and even did a little begging and pleading today but no luck yet.
And somehow I'm still pining for another baby! Did two more tests today and they were both still negative. I need a counter on this site to keep up with my testing. It's ridiculous but I figure what the hey. We do what we can to stay as close to sane as possible. If peeing on a stick makes me feel a little bit better, then so be it.
So, for the record:
Days until my period is due: 6
Days before a period that these tests are effective: 3
Number of tests taken: 3
Number of positive results: 0
Number of times I thought I saw a line and then realised that no, there was no line: countless
And, in the spirit of sharing here's the recipe for the cookies we made today:
One box of cake mix, any flavour (Betty Crocker or Duncan Hines are best)
1/3 cup of oil (I used sunflower but vegetable is good too)
2 eggs
Mix it all together, form into balls and flatten onto a baking tray. Bake at 180C/345F for about 8 minutes. Very easy so Toby can help out and very yummy.
I have got to get this kid into a playgroup or preschool. I think it would be good for him to socialise with other children more regularly and learn that there are rules, not just 'Mommy rules', but real Rules of Behavior. And, to be quite honest, I would benefit from a little time away from him. We're together almost 24 hours a day and I mean that quite literally as he ends up in our bed most nights. I little separation would be a good thing. The problem is that there are waiting lists for everything. Tobes is down for a great preschool but they can't take him until September. At the moment I'm not sure either of us will survive until then. I'm making calls and even did a little begging and pleading today but no luck yet.
And somehow I'm still pining for another baby! Did two more tests today and they were both still negative. I need a counter on this site to keep up with my testing. It's ridiculous but I figure what the hey. We do what we can to stay as close to sane as possible. If peeing on a stick makes me feel a little bit better, then so be it.
So, for the record:
Days until my period is due: 6
Days before a period that these tests are effective: 3
Number of tests taken: 3
Number of positive results: 0
Number of times I thought I saw a line and then realised that no, there was no line: countless
And, in the spirit of sharing here's the recipe for the cookies we made today:
One box of cake mix, any flavour (Betty Crocker or Duncan Hines are best)
1/3 cup of oil (I used sunflower but vegetable is good too)
2 eggs
Mix it all together, form into balls and flatten onto a baking tray. Bake at 180C/345F for about 8 minutes. Very easy so Toby can help out and very yummy.
Monday, January 24, 2005
OK, here we go...
I think I've just about got the hang of this. I make no promises for longevity but I'm ready to give this blogging a go.
So, what do I have to say for myself? Well, let's see... what did I do today? Went to the mall, cheated on my diet, spent too much money on a low-fat ready meal at M&S to try to get the diet back on track, came home, peed on a stick, got the kiddo fed, changed and asleep, then came downstairs and looked at the stick for almost an hour.
Perhaps some background info would be useful at this point. I'm a full-time Mom... no, wait, that's a crap term. ALL Moms are full-time. There's no other kind. I'm a stay-at-home Mom or SAHM as they say. In my past life I worked in arts administration which I loved and plan to go back to in a decade or so. My little boy is 2 1/2 years old and we've been trying for No2 since April last year. We had some bad luck with a miscarriage in June and a second one in September and now we're 'trying' again. Hence, the stick.
It was negative, by the way, but I'm not going to let a little thing like that get between me and a good obsessing session. I looked at that stick under every light in the house, including (and I almost hesitate to admit this) a flashlight. Nope, still definitely negative.
Something else you should probably know about me is that I can be freakishly anal and worryingly obsessive. The whole trying to conceive thing really brings out the worst in me. For instance, last month my period arrived two days EARLY. Even so, by the time it showed up I had already taken..... wait for it..... fourteen home pregnancy tests. Yes, that's right. Fourteen. 1-4. Slightly mad? Perhaps more than slightly.
So, if you've decided to read this blog I warn you now that it will talk a lot about babies, husbands, houses and friends because these are the things that make up my life. I may touch occasionally on British and American culture and perhaps dip into art, literature and current affairs on the rare occasion that these things pass through my life. I'm certainly not complaining though. I do love my life, my family and our little home. Hope you enjoy getting to know us.
So, what do I have to say for myself? Well, let's see... what did I do today? Went to the mall, cheated on my diet, spent too much money on a low-fat ready meal at M&S to try to get the diet back on track, came home, peed on a stick, got the kiddo fed, changed and asleep, then came downstairs and looked at the stick for almost an hour.
Perhaps some background info would be useful at this point. I'm a full-time Mom... no, wait, that's a crap term. ALL Moms are full-time. There's no other kind. I'm a stay-at-home Mom or SAHM as they say. In my past life I worked in arts administration which I loved and plan to go back to in a decade or so. My little boy is 2 1/2 years old and we've been trying for No2 since April last year. We had some bad luck with a miscarriage in June and a second one in September and now we're 'trying' again. Hence, the stick.
It was negative, by the way, but I'm not going to let a little thing like that get between me and a good obsessing session. I looked at that stick under every light in the house, including (and I almost hesitate to admit this) a flashlight. Nope, still definitely negative.
Something else you should probably know about me is that I can be freakishly anal and worryingly obsessive. The whole trying to conceive thing really brings out the worst in me. For instance, last month my period arrived two days EARLY. Even so, by the time it showed up I had already taken..... wait for it..... fourteen home pregnancy tests. Yes, that's right. Fourteen. 1-4. Slightly mad? Perhaps more than slightly.
So, if you've decided to read this blog I warn you now that it will talk a lot about babies, husbands, houses and friends because these are the things that make up my life. I may touch occasionally on British and American culture and perhaps dip into art, literature and current affairs on the rare occasion that these things pass through my life. I'm certainly not complaining though. I do love my life, my family and our little home. Hope you enjoy getting to know us.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
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