Halloween

With everything going on at the moment we really wanted to make sure that Tobes had a fun Halloween. His little life has been turned upside down with changing schools, moving house and preparing for a new baby in the house. Not to mention, putting up with a heavy, exhausted mother. So on Sunday we had the lovely Mary Catherine and her lovely Mom and Dad over to decorate pumpkins and cupcakes. Have you ever seen more gorgeous children?! Tobes and MC get on so well and they had a brilliant time playing which meant that the grown ups had a brilliant time chatting (and eating one or two cupcakes).

MC's Nana sent our own little Cupcake a welcome present of a little sleeping bag which has been washed and packed into my hospital bag. (Many thanks!!)

Mom and Dad arrived this morning and are sleeping off the jetlag as I type. It was great to see them and Tobes was in overdrive with excitement. Tonight we got him dressed into his Buzz Lightyear costume and he and J went trick or treating. Halloween is still a very small holiday here so there were only three or four houses welcoming trick or treaters, but that was plenty for Tobes. The sign here is putting out a jack o'lantern. If there's a jack o'lantern visible then the house is celebrating Halloween and treats are being handed out. We put out the two pumpkins that Tobes painted and one that J made along with a little lantern. We had about a dozen trick or treaters in total, which isn't bad for England.

Now Tobes is crashed out and Mom & Dad are fast asleep. J and I are starting to prepare for the big day tomorrow. I can barely believe that Cupcake is going to be here in less than 24 hours. (More in my pregnancy blog.)

Busy, busy, busy

Today is my baby shower. Because in this modern age no one stays in the same place for long, my friends are scattered all over England. Our new flat is the most central location so everyone is coming here. I did feel a little nervous about hosting a gathering just two weeks after we moved in but the place has come together and I'm really looking forward to it. I think it'll be good for Tobes to have some of his friends over too (because it's on Friday it's just my stay-at-home mom friends and their children). Hopefully this will really christen the flat and make it even more of a home.

This weekend we're going to do some Halloween stuff and make cakes and carve pumpkins. Hopefully the lovely Mary Catherine and her parents will be able to join us. I'd like to see as many people as possible before D-Day on Tuesday when the baby is born. I have no idea what this baby will be like so no idea what life will be like after she arrives. I want to embrace some normality before then.

And on Monday Mom and Dad arrive! If you read Dad's comment on the previous entry I have to tell you that he's barely joking about their luggage. The things that I know Mom is bringing include:

Hamburger Helper, Chicken Helper, Velveeta, Ro-tel, cornbread mix, Halloween chocolates, eight different outfits for Cupcake, four blankets for Cupcake, two pairs of trousers for Tobes with various tops, PJ bottoms for J, fajita seasoning... and the list goes on.

It's going to be like Christmas when they get here.

We're hoping to take Mom and Dad out for a nice meal before they leave and there's a restaurant we've been to a few times in the OXO Tower that we'd like to go to. It overlooks the Thames and has wonderful views of Parliament and Big Ben. You can't fly 4000 miles to London and not see Big Ben. I know I won't be ready for public transportation by then and, once the baby arrives and we have two car seats, we won't all fit in our car. Hmmmm, what to do?

My solution was that we rent a larger car for a couple of days. I suggested we choose something that we would actually consider buying so that we can try it out. Maybe the 7-seater version of what we already drive. 'Great idea', says J. Last night I noticed he was looking at a car rental website called Eurostyle and the page he was on included an M Class Mercedes, some huge Land Rover thing, the Porsche 4X4 and a Hummer. Not quite what I had in mind but a man can dream.

Gas... and more gas

I've been feeling a bit better and decided to check off a few things on my list on Monday. I organised a glazier to come out and give us a quote to repair a window, cut some tabletops and put an extractor fan in the bathroom. Then I called Transco to come out and check an old gaspipe in the sitting room. J and I had been getting whiffs of gas for a few days and wanted to have it tested. Well, there was a leak and the end result was that Transco had to shut off our gas until I could get an engineer out to repair it. This meant three days without heat, hot water or a stove. The fun never stops.

Luckily British Gas came out today and it's all back on again so tonight will be a festival of baths and showers and the flat will probably feel like a sauna. I'm not making any promises about cooking.

J and I decided to have curry delivered Monday night since we couldn't use the stove. (Yes, the oven and microwave still worked but... well, it was a good excuse.) The curry was delicious but J had an upset stomach the following day. I was fine and ended up heating up some of the leftovers for my dinner last night. Obviously that was a step too far because I've been suffering all day. I've been hoping that the upset stomach is a sign of early labour but I think it's probably just the curry.

My list making is in overdrive. Today I've made the following lists:

• Phone list for J to ring people after the birth
• Email list for after the birth
• List of things to do and meal ideas while Mom and Dad are here
• List of things to do before Mom and Dad get here
• Updated my hospital packing list

And then I made this list of my lists. It's a sickness.

Not much to report

My back is getting better but I'm still pretty useless when it comes to working on the flat. J has done a great job emptying boxes and taking things to the tip. It's all coming together now. We're planning for Mom and Dad's visit now and for the arrival of Cupcake. I think this weekend will be a busy one.

This week J is back at work. Brenda is coming down tomorrow to help out. I need to go to the hospital and have some blood tests in preparation for the birth next Tuesday so we'll do that tomorrow. I haven't driven since my back went out but Brenda can drive if necessary. I am feeling much better but am still quite limited on how far I can walk and what I can do. I can get out of bed and go to the loo on my own which has made a big difference to my outlook. It was quite depressing asking J to walk me to the loo every time I needed to go (probably pretty depressing for J too, especially the 3am visits).

The meds are making me a little groggy so I can only imagine how disconnected my entries must be at the moment. Hopefully all will be back to normal in a few weeks, at least as far as my backs. Then I can blame the insanity on sleep deprivation.

We're here!

We've arrived in Blackheath and it's fantastic. We absolutely love the flat. You see a place a couple of times and you think it's going to work but you never know until you get there. Luckily, this place is just wonderful. I'm glad we did the whole house-in-the-burbs thing but we are definitely more flat-in-the city types and it's great to be back.

Blackheath Village is great too. Tobes and J have walked down to the heath almost every day to kick the ball around. On Sunday morning they headed out early and I had a leisurely morning then went to meet them for breakfast. They had met another Dad on the heath with twin three year old boys and become fast friends. The other guys just happened to be meeting up with their mum in the same cafe so we all had breakfast together. In almost three years living in Chislehurst we never met anyone so easily. We all had quite a bit in common and the boys had a great time together. It felt like a very good omen.

We've also bumped into Philippa and her parents at different times, which is really nice. I think when you start bumping into people you know a place really starts to feel like home.

So, it's been a fantastic start. The only problem is that my back has gone out again so I've become quite useless as far as unpacking and arranging things. The docs say I should be better by the end of the week and the drugs I've been given certainly take the edge off. Fingers crossed that I'm back on my feet again by the weekend.

Tomorrow is the big day

We move to Blackheath tomorrow. I can't believe it's finally happening. It's funny, and this is so typical of me, but I've thought so much about getting there that I haven't really thought about leaving here. I'm going to miss this little house. In many ways it's been our first real home. I must remember to take lots of photos today before everything is dismantled tomorrow.

I'm going to miss some things about Chislehurst too. The churchyard, the ease of living so close to the High Street... and that's about it. No, I'll miss all the old folks too. Chislehurst must be a haven for retired people because we have a huge elderly community and lots of assisted living and nursing homes. I do like the old people and will miss having some sweet elderly gentleman hold the door open for me at the newsagents or some little old lady pat my pregnant belly and tell me that without a doubt I'm having a girl. I went out this morning and had three different ladies stop me and ask about the pregnancy. The younger generations just don't have as much time or inclination for chatting with strangers and I'll definitely miss that.

So, tomorrow we go. I won't have internet access until Monday at the earliest and that's if we can get organised enough to get everything set up. But I know that the library in Blackheath has internet access so I can always update there if anything exciting happens.

It's all happening here

We move in three days. I've been on the phone all day today making last minute arrangements and tomorrow I'll run around southeast London like a chicken with its head cut off sorting out the council tax, parking permits, etc, etc. Normally, these are things that could wait but with the baby coming I know I have to do them either now or next year and next year is just too far away.

So the house is coming apart at the seams. I'm trying to catch up on the laundry and eat everything in the fridge and freezer. We've cleared out the loft and the garden shed and now there are odd things sitting around like a ladder in our bedroom, painting accesories in the sitting room and a big box of stuff for the charity shop under the dining table. Just trying to keep everything organised but I know it's going to be chaos. I keep having little freak outs and crying jags which doesn't help. My hormones must be at fever pitch because I feel slightly insane all the time. Must be a joy for J to be around.

Long night

Last night didn't get much easier. J was home just after 9.00 and he helped out in the night but we're both ill too so it was hard work. Tobes was up and down all night coughing. Basically, every 3-4 hours he would wake up which is when the effects of his medicine would wear off. Then we'd dose him up again, refill the vaporiser and try to get us all back to sleep. We survived though.

This morning was even quite nice. J stayed home later because he'd been away so he and Tobes had breakfast together and I got to sleep a bit more. We all left the house at the same time because I had a doctor's appointment which was nice. Usually J is off to work at the crack of dawn so it was a treat to see him this morning. He'll have to work late tonight but he's taken the day off tomorrow and we're going to prepare for the move.

It's such an exciting time. I can barely take it all in. We've talked about living in Blackheath for well over a year AND we're going to have a new baby too. Two dreams coming true at once. It's amazing.

I feel a bit easier about coping with two children. I went onto mumsnet last night and asked how other moms coped and the consensus seems to be to lower your standards and just muddle through. I can do that! Most of the mums said to not have the same expectations regarding a clean house and to bend the rules on things like how much TV you allow your oldest child to watch. They also recommended planning ahead such as packing the diaper bag the night before and keeping a change of clothes for both children in the car at all times. Another good tip was to get the baby to fall in with the older child's routine rather than the other way around. The older child could resent changes to his or her routine but the baby won't know any differently. All very sage advice.

Too late for just one?

I have a virus. J has a virus. Toby has a virus. I'm assuming we all have the same virus but it's affecting us in different ways. I have a sore throat, earache and fever. J has a very sore throat and Toby has unbelievable snot production, a constant cough and extreme naughtiness. I don't know why it is but when Tobes is ill he pulls out all the stops when it comes to bad behaviour. Are all children like this?

I had to give him a time-out while Brenda was here because he refused to get ready for school. Not just obstinance but throwing things at me and being really awful. Then tonight he was having some milk before bed and he picked up his cup and waved it through the air spraying milk droplets all over the living room. I thought I would give him the benefit of the doubt and explained that the cup was not a sippy cup and he had to be more careful. He then held the cup as if to pour it out on his table. I told him if he poured any milk on his table I would take the milk away and he would go straight to bed. He looked me straight in the eye and proceeded to pour milk on his table.

As if that wasn't enough, before I could jump up and get to the cup of milk he then took a big swig of it then opened his mouth and let the milk spill out over himself, the chair and the floor. I was so frustrated I thought I would throw him out the window. It wouldn't have done me much good though because when he's ill he has no fear of punishment either. The bad behaviour just continues until he finally falls asleep.

Tonight after cleaning him up, getting him into his PJs (which was another trial, let me tell you) and getting him into bed without even brushing his teeth (I was just too exhausted) I sat in the chair beside his bed as we do every night. As I sat there waiting for him to fall asleep I started thinking about what I would do as soon as he passed out. Downstairs was a pile of laundry and dirty dishes waiting for me but I would be able to do them in peace. I could make myself a cold drink and maybe drink it before all the ice melted, or maybe a cup of tea and drink it before it went cold. I could even watch something other than cartoons on TV.

Parallel to this line of thinking was a much more terrifying thought - what will I do when there's another child waiting for me? How will I cope when walking out of Toby's room doesn't mean a little peace it means dealing with the insistent needs of another baby? I was seriously close to tears just thinking about it. It's not as if J has the kind of job where he's home by a certain time every night. Hell, he's not even home every night. He spent the last three days in Zurich. But I can't complain about J's work. It's what makes our lives possible. It's why I can stay home with Tobes, why we can buy a place in Blackheath, why we can spend an exhorbitant amount of money going to Starbucks. J's job pays for our life. I'm going to have to find a way to cope. How on earth am I going to do that?

We've exchanged!!

It's an absolute miracle. We exchanged contracts on the house today which means there's no turning back now. The moving date is 14 October. That gives us about two weeks to get settled before Cupcake arrives but right now I'm just glad we're going to get there at all. Sooooo glad that the negotiations are over and we can start working on actually moving.

The Move... or not

Oh my sweet Jesus. What a nightmare. Yesterday J spent over two hours on the phone dealing with estate agents and solicitors. We still haven't exchanged contracts so we obviously didn't move yesterday and it doesn't look like we're going to be able to move next Friday either. Poor J. I thought he was going to cry at one point. It's all so frustrating.

It's now come down to this - our sellers have had their baby but there were some complications and the baby is rather ill. The house that they've had built won't be ready until 14 October but they were going to stay with family until that date. Now, with the baby being in hospital they'd like to change the moving date to the 14th. OK, we cam obviously sympathise with their situation. Fine with us. Fine with our buyer. NOT so fine with our buyer's buyer. They said no way. So now we're stuck.

J was freaking out. It's rare that he gets really rattled but he definitely was yesterday afternoon. We talked on the phone for a long time and his main concern was us and our new baby. He felt like we had to move ASAP or not at all so that we could concentrate on our family. I then drew him a picture of what it would be like if this all fell through - stuck in Chislehurst, a place we've grown to dislike; all of our friends moved away (George and Tim exchanged on their new place on Thursday); me driving Tobes back and forth to school in Blackheath three times a week because he's just settled and there's no way we could make him change schools again; me losing my mind with a new baby and no friends or even worse, getting postnatal depression (always a fear).

Personally, I would rather just push through and get moved. Even if it means doing it a week before the baby is born. We even talked about scheduling the move while I'm still in hospital with the baby, just to get it done. Life will be much nicer and easier once we're in Blackheath.

By the end of our talk we realised that it's truly out of our hands now. It's between our seller and our buyer's buyer. They have to thrash out the dates and there's nothing we can do to facilitate that. The really irritating thing is that the buyer's buyer would be the least affected by the moving date. They're buying the flat as an investment, they're not even going to live in it. All the rest of us are purchasing homes and two of us are dealing with babies and children too. It's just unbelievable how awkward some people can be.

So, J and I have backed out of the process and have decided to let the others duke it out. Hopefully it'll all still happen but there is a chance that we might be here for quite a few months longer. Hopefully we'll know in a few days.