New talents and little obsessions

Rosie

New talent: Growling, especially when she's looking at something that interests her. She's been exploring the higher tones of her voice for a while now and seems to have just discovered the lower ones. Today she was looking at a toy, turning it over in her hands and growling softly to herself. It's like having a puppy.

Little obsession: Remote controls. She always wants to hold them but if I let her play with them she ends up reprogramming the TV and I can't find any of the channels. Yesterday I gave her an inexpensive calculator that we gave Toby when he became interested in the remotes. Toby would quite happily play with the calculator, pointing it at the TV or holding it up to his ear like a phone. Rosie looked at the calculator then looked at me as if to say "What the hell is this?! I want the remote, not a bloody calculator" then she chucked the calculator on the floor and reached for the remote.


Toby

New talent: Drawing Mickey Mouse. We were sent a DVD to prepare for our trip to Disneyland in June and it includes a segment on how to draw Mickey Mouse. Toby watched it half a dozen times today and drew a surprisingly good Mickey!

Little obsession: The British X-Factor winner has released a song called That's My Goal and Toby loooves it. He calls it 'the quiet song' and asks me to play it every time we're in the car. So funny to hear that sweet three-year-old voice in the backseat singing along. Not quite as funny as when Toby sings 'my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps..." but, you know, funny.

The Long Weekend

Just a few words and a bunch of photos (many thanks Elizabeth!) about the weekend. We had a three day weekend for the Spring Bank Holiday and spent it hanging out in Blackheath and Canary Wharf. On Saturday we met up with the Dunnes at Starbucks on the Wharf and went to the motor show. I found the perfect first car for Tobes - the G-Wiz. It has a top speed of 40mph and can go only 40 miles before needing to recharge. Sounds perfect for a teenage boy.

On Sunday we stayed in Blackheath, flew kites on the heath and had lunch at Cafe Rouge. For the bank holiday Monday we had planned a picnic on the heath and a visit to the fun fair with Elizabeth, Andrew and Mary Catherine. The day dawned cold, windy and a bit wet but we were very English about it and dutifully spread our blankets on the damp ground, ate our picnic and laughed at ourselves. Our perseverence paid off and soon the sun was out which made it all worthwhile. We even got the kites out.

We warmed up with hot drinks at Costa then went over to the fun fair. The children had a brilliant time going on the bouncy castle, riding rides and playing a fishing game. They both won a prize and you can see from the photo of Tobes and MC with their prizes that they were well and truly worn out from the day.

Our exit was perfectly timed because within seconds of getting into the car the heavens opened and it started to hail. Mother Nature was obviously on our side.

Rain and shine

Very excited. I'm contributing to an article about women's experience of miscarriage. Not a magazine but a broadsheet this time. More details when I know them!

Real up and down day today. The weather was very strange - pouring rain one minute and bright sunshine the next. Very apt. I seemed to go from lovely moments - picnicing in Greenwich Park with the children, Rosie laughing at my impression of a cow, Toby and Rosie giggling together - to feeling like my head might explode - Rosie crying and crying (think she's teething or her cold is really bothering her), trying to wipe Toby's bottom while he ran around the bathroom pretending to be Sportacus with Rosie screaming in the background. Definitely ups and downs.

I found out last night that my grandmother is even worse. She's in the hospital with a virus and can't keep any food down. I've tried to ring Mom and Dad a few times but they're never there. Always at the hospital. Mom left a message today saying Grandma seemed to be getting better but her dementia is really bad. She's making no sense at all. Mom sounded so tired. I'm sure she's at the hospital all day.

I talked to J last night about what we'll do when Grandma dies. I would really like to go to the funeral. I'd like to be there for Mom and I think it'll probably be the last time that the extended family get together. Mom has three brothers and a sister. Growing up there were twelve of us cousins and I loved every single one of my cousins so much. My aunts, uncles and cousins were a huge part of my childhood and it makes me very sad to think that Grandma's funeral could be the last time that I see some of them.

Sitting here now I can think of so many fond memories. Uncle Ronnie telling us the Headless Horseman story then Uncle Wayne jumping out with a coat over his head, scaring us all half to death... using a vine to swing across the creek behind Tessha's house one summer and David swinging right into a tree... Ian pretending to flush Tessha's cat down the toilet... two summers in New Orleans with Uncle Ronnie, Aunt Linda and Stacey, watching this new thing called MTV, making our own band specialising in Sylvia's song 'Nobody' and eating snowballs until I felt sick... riding horses with David and reading Daryl's Archie comic books... the time Daryl wrote a play that we performed for our parents that ended with Tammy saying the line "It's bat guano pie.'... wearing my hair with a braid on one side for years because I saw Melanie wear her hair like that once... dancing around the room to the Beatles and the Bee Gees with Tessha, James (who was Tootie back then) and baby Terry Wayne... crying my eyes out whenever we all had to say good bye.

Lot of good memories.

Kitchen Finished! Well, almost.

At long last the kitchen is almost finished. J and I painted the red wall last week and J hung things on the walls for me yesterday. All we have left to do is paint one bit the painter left undone for some strange reason, repaint the woodwork with gloss paint and I want to change some of the pictures on the walls. We have a rubbing from a Thai temple that I've wanted to hang up for years and I think it'll look great in the big frame in the kitchen. The Kandinsky print is definitely getting old.

Had a lovely weekend. We went to the school fair on Saturday. J is running in the London 10k in July so he went for a run with Pete on Sunday morning while the children and I had cinnamon rolls for breakfast (well, at least one of us is getting healthy). We had lunch out and then did some work on the flat in the afternoon.

Rosie is doing really well. Her allergies seem to be calming down a bit (touch wood) and I've been able to expand her diet more. In the last week she's had her first taste of tomato and blueberries, though not together. She looooved the blueberries. Rosie has a bit of a cold at the moment so I'm trying to increase her vitamin C with lots of fruit. She's getting stronger now and we have to be much more careful with her. This morning I put her in her bouncy chair in the living room, walked into the kitchen to get her cold medicine, came back in the living room and found Rosie laying on the floor next to her chair. She looked up at me as if to say "How the hell did I get down here?!' Thankfully, no damage done but I'm definitely going to have to keep a closer eye on this girl.

St Margaret's May Fair

Today we went to the May Fair at what will be Toby's 'big school', St Margaret's. It was fantastic. Everyone was so friendly and Tobes had a great time. It was the first time that J had visited the school and I was so glad that he liked it too. As soon as we got the offer of a place for Toby I started second guessing myself but now I know that it was definitely the right choice.

I would so love to take my American friends and family to one of these events. It's a bit like the fairs we used to have at school but uniquely English. There are stands selling things that parents have donated - second hand books, children's clothes, toys, etc and other stands with games and activities. They had some traditional things like a coconut shy, a tombola and donkey rides. They also had face painting, a bouncy castle and cookie decorating for the children. They had a cake stall (but no Cake Walk, god I loved the Cake Walk), barbecue hot dogs and burgers and, of course, tea. One big difference from an American school event was that they also had beer and Pimms for the parents and a Beer Raffle where the winner received a bottle of gin!

I met some of the mums working at the stalls and was very pleased to meet a lady whose daughter will be in Toby's class. We bumped into Pete and Philippa (Philippa teaches Year 1 at St Margaret's) and she told me that I had started off well because the women I had been talking to are both governors of the school. I've already volunteered my services for next year's May Fair. Philippa also told me that the lady who painted Toby's face has a child in Philippa's class, a child that will be in Toby's class and a six month old baby AND she's American and her family live in Texas! It was starting to get late by then but I did a circuit of the fair hoping to spot the fellow American and basically try to chat her up, but she must've left. Either that or she saw me looking for her and was hiding in the loos.

I am SO excited about Toby going to St Margaret's. It seems like such a lovely school with a good community spirit. I wonder if they'd let me run the beer stall next year?

After the fair we went to Cafe Rouge for dinner. I remember when I was little we would always go to Braum's after a school event. It was like a religion. School play - ice cream. Open House - ice cream. School Carnival - ice cream. We'd turn up and half the school would be there too. I wonder if Cafe Rouge will be the after school event destination for Toby and Rosie.

(PS for the Texans: Yes, we are wearing scarves and jackets today. I know it's almost June but hey, it's London. What do you expect?)

Livin' in Da Hood

Well, it was a stabbing last night. The police came over a bit later and asked if we had seen anything. I told them what I had seen, which wasn't much. I don't have any more info about it but my guess is that it was some kind of domestic disturbance rather than a knife-wielding mugger. When I heard the lady shouting last night she was saying (grandmothers look away now) "I hope you're fucking proud of yourself! He's dead now!" and then something about hoping the guy's dick fell off. Not really what I would shout at an unknown assailant.

And I don't think the stab-ee actually died. There was an ambulance and I saw a man holding his stomach and crossing the road. He was walking on his own, wasn't covered in blood and looked more pissed off than in pain.

Oh, what a drama.

Ah, Life in London

Giving Rosie her bedtime bottle when I heard shouting outside. It went on for a bit so I stood up and looked out the window in time to see a man staggering down our road and a woman shouting obscenities at him. Now there are three police cars, an ambulance and crime scene tape all over the street. I think it was just a domestic disturbance that got out of hand. I see the nosy elderly lady across the street is taking out her rubbish (very interesting timing). I'm sure I'll get the scoop from her tomorrow.

You Get What You Pay For

Lovely day yesterday. We went to our playgroup and it was nice to see familiar faces and feel a part of it all. One of the Mums was there with her new baby, a little boy named Magnus. Her little girl is two and is named Harriet. Sweet names.

The painter was still working in the flat so after playgroup we decided to go to Bluewater for lunch. It was great bombing down the A2 listening to the Black Eyed Peas, Van Morrison and Orson. Tobes and I were rocking out. John Lewis has a creperie, so after lunch Toby had a crepe for dessert. I bought a children's book about Paris called Crepes by Suzette about a lady who sells crepes all over Paris. When we went to Venice I bought Toby a book called Zoe Sophia's Scrapbook: An Adventure in Venice and it was fantastic. He was so excited when he recognised a building or sculpture in Venice and reading the book now helps him remember our trip. I'm hoping Crepes by Suzette will do the same thing for Paris. It's already started Toby's love affair with crepes!

When we came home the painter had finished. I think it's often very true that you get what you pay for. We went the budget route this time and hired a firefighter who does painting and decorating on his days off. It is true that every wall has paint on it but so did the floor and, in two cases, the paint used was the wrong one anyway. We have a white wall where there was supposed to be a red one and, while I was brushing my teeth last night, I noticed that the woodwork which is supposed to be gloss white was painted with satin paint. Oh well, it's an improvement on raw plaster.

On a happier note

I took Rosie to a music class today. It was the usual thing of Moms (and nannies) sitting in a circle with the babies, singing songs and manically miming. Not usually my thing but Rosie had a great time. She shouted to the music, banged on a drum, shook some jingle bells and attempted to clap her hands. We'll definitely be going back.

I've been in England almost thirteen years but there are times when I'm still struck by the 'Englishness' of things. In the class today were children named Lily, Merlin, Matlida, Mariann, Rupert and Persephone (yes, really). But then, I'm hardly one to talk with my little Rosamund.

The best thing about the class was doing something with Rosie, just the two of us. It's usually me, Rosie and Toby and when Toby is at nursery I often end up catching up on chores and errands instead of spending quality time with Rosie. It was nice to just focus on her for an hour and have fun together.

Morbid thoughts

Lately I've been feeling a real shift in our lives. I would say that since my early twenties life has been ticking along. Things have changed, the details of life have evolved but fundamentally life and I have stayed the same. Turning thirty was an important time but, for me, it was more an opportunity to reflect rather than a turning point in itself. I think we're reaching a real turning point now.

My grandmother, my last surviving grandparent, is very ill. She's in a nursing home and my Mom goes to see her twice a day to make sure that she eats. Her last stroke has left her unable to bring her hands to her mouth and she needs to be spoonfed. She's been suffering from dementia and lately it's started to get worse. Grandma doesn't always know for certain who my mother is.

I remember visiting my great-grandmother, Grandma's mother, in a nursing home in very similiar circumstances. We would take her chocolate malts and she would think that I was Mom and call me Linda. It all sounds frighteningly familliar and I've started to think about the day when it's my mother who is ill and I'm the one telling Rosie and Toby to come and see her before it's too late. It feels like life is this big rusty wheel, turning very slowly, but relentlessly.

How will I deal with these issues when I'm so far away?

Enjoying my own company

J is home tomorrow so I thought I would make my last night of solitude a special one. It's hard work when J's away but I do enjoy having the evenings to myself once the children go to bed. I rented a French DVD that I've wanted to see for ages, 8 Femmes, and made myself a nice meal.

I found some really beautiful scallops today and cooked them with butter and a little bit of chili and ginger. I had them with angel hair pasta, gorgeous English asparagus and a very cold chardonnay. For dessert, chocolate mousse and English strawberries. British fruit and vegetables are usually exceptionally good but they do have short seasons so you have to pounce when they're available.

Now I'm going to bed with my book (Jonathan Franzen's The Corrections), my magazine (this month's Vogue) and will try to get to sleep before midnight.

Conversations with Toby

At breakfast this morning:

"Uh oh, Mommy. Looks like you made another baby. You're tummy is so fat."

***********************
At lunch Toby was showing me how to play a game he had learned at school. The teacher would put three or four items on the table then she would ask the children to close their eyes and she would remove one item. When they opened their eyes they had to guess which item was missing.

Me: "Were you good at guessing what was missing?"

Toby: "Yes, I was really good at it. Ms Suki said she was impressed but it was easy. I just pretended to close my eyes so I could see what she took away then I got it right every time!"


***********************
In the bath tonight I was struggling to bathe Rosie in a new bath chair. I was having trouble holding onto her and almost dropped her in the water, then scratched her head with a button when I was getting her dressed. I felt awful. Tobes was watching all of this then came out with 'Mommy, are you a terrible mother?"

What a gorgeous day

We had a really beautiful, sunny day today. I opened all the windows in the flat and Tobes and I made Lazytown T-shirts. After Rosie's nap we went into the village, ran some errands, rented some DVDs and came home and watched Shark Boy and Lava Girl while I made dinner. Tobes was a bit of a handful by bedtime (too much Shark Boy) and I had to sing Fly Me to the Moon, True AND Dream a Little Dream before he was finally ready to sleep.

Now I'm sitting here wishing I had some lemoncello but looking forward to my DVD (not Shark Boy).

Not much happened but it was lovely.

Almost forgot!

I spoke to the photographer for the Practical Parenting article and they've decided to use more photos from our sittings with The Image Studio rather than do their own shoot. I had to organise some high resolution images today of my maternity portrait because they want to do a whole half page of me naked! OK, it's not exactly Demi Moore on the cover of Vanity Fair but I'm so excited.

Guess where we had lunch today...

Yep. Yo! Sushi. Must give Tobes credit, he is adventurous. Today he tried prawns wrapped in rice noodles and then deep fried, octopus balls, fried pumpkin and some avocado sushi. He even finished my miso soup. Toby has had octopus before. He loves the seafood linguini at Strada, especially the octopus tentacles. Gotta love a kid who eats octopus but wouldn't eat a boiled potato to save his life.

Random thoughts

Just took Tobes to nursery, put Rosie down for her nap, took a megadose of vitamin C and made myself a hot drink. Now I'm sitting here wondering why it is that:

a. I always seem to get ill when J goes away with work and

b. why does coffee taste so much better in a big white cup in a cafe?

J left for Colorado yesterday and within seconds of him leaving I started having a coughing fit that has yet to stop. He gets back on Saturday. Maybe I'll feel better then.

I'm trying to decide what the children and I are going to do this week. Yesterday was cold and rainy so we stayed in and Toby and I made a huge chocolate cake. I was hoping to get up to Cambridge one day but the photographer from Practical Parenting wants to do the photos for the article this week so we're on stand-by until that gets booked.

I do need to go to St Maggie's today and take in some paperwork to formally accept Toby's place at the school. How much do you want to bet that I make a huge arse of myself and cry at least once?

Speaking of Tobes, he's doing really well. Still obsessed with Lazytown (grandparents, there's a hint for birthday presents) and spent all morning jumping around like Sportacus. I managed to buy some T-shirt transfers on Ebay from someone in Iceland and have made Tobes a Sportacus T-shirt. We have further ideas for a pillow case and other tops but they're still in the planning stages. I also found a Sportacus dressing up set (including stick-on mustache) and someone who can make a personalised Lazytown decoration for Toby's birthday cake. His birthday isn't until the end of July but I like to start early.

Toby's other obsession at the moment is Yo! Sushi. They opened one at Bluewater about two weeks ago and we've already been there three times. We can't go to Bluewater without stopping at Yo! Sushi. Tobes loves the edamame, gyoza, yakitori and noodles. He eats the rice off the sushi and dips it in soy sauce but hasn't tried the actual raw fish yet. I must admit that I'm not a huge fan of sashimi myself. I think I got my fill in Tokyo, but Yo! Sushi is fun and they have plenty of other things to choose from. I guess you could put anything on brightly coloured plates, send it around on a conveyer belt and children would love it. Maybe I should install one in the kitchen.

Off to University before we know it

We received some news last week that will have a huge impact on our lives - where Toby will be going to school. We applied at four different schools and Tobes made it into our second choice. The first choice was a very long shot so I'm not too disappointed. They had eight times the number of applications for the places available so I haven't even bothered to go on the waiting list.

In January Tobes will be starting at St Margaret's of Lee Church of England Primary School, or St Maggie's for short. Feels a bit strange for J and I, two heathens, to be sending Toby to a church school but they have a very balanced curriculum and a really excellent reputation. Even stranger to think that he'll be starting in January! Seems like he was just a baby in my arms a few days ago. I must admit that when I opened his acceptance letter I sat on the stairs and cried. I know I'll miss him so much when he's at school all day. What on earth am I going to do when he leaves home.

Our Day with The Sultan's Elephant

Yesterday we went into London to see the magic that is The Sultan's Elephant. The story was being played out in London over four days and I'm so glad we managed to see it. It was a bright, warm day and we met up with Elizabeth, Andrew and the lovely Mary Catherine in Trafalgar Square then walked down Pall Mall where the elephant was napping. He had his own rock band that followed him around and we rocked out while Elizabeth and I oggled the bass player. Soon the elephant woke up, sprayed the crowd with water, gave a loud trumpet and walked off down Pall Mall.

We took this as our sign to break for lunch and went over to the Texas Embassy for tacos, enchiladas, sopapillas, etc. The restaurant turned out to be a great choice because soon the giant little girl walked by followed by the elephant. It was a very surreal experience. It's not every day you see a huge marionette and a 42 ton elephant walk by while you're having lunch. At one point it looked like the elephant wasn't going to make it past the branches of a large tree but the Sultan's crew are obviously experienced time travellers and a chainsaw soon appeared to remove the obstacle. I was so entranced that my enchiladas almost went cold.

Afterwards we went back to Trafalgar Square where the elephant and little girl seemed to be napping in front of the National Gallery. By then London had reverted to form and it was cold and wet. Time to say goodbye to the elephant and head home.

Our gorgeous girl

What a bonny, happy girl. I think I just fell in love with her all over again.

If you'd like to see some more of Rosie's photos go to www.theimagestudio-uk.com and click on Cherubs Club. Then click on View Your Photos. The password is 'image'. Then just look for our name. We had two sittings. I didn't think she had changed that much between sitting but when I looked at them one after the other I could really see how she's grown. God, it's going so fast.