A lost memory rediscovered

This morning Toby came in to use the loo while I was in the shower. Ah, the joys of having only one bathroom. After he washed and dried his hands he buried his face in the towels and robes hanging on the bathroom door. He does this so often that Rosie has started copying him and now they both stop and bury their faces in the robes before they leave the bathroom. I thought they were just being silly but it dawned on me this morning that maybe Toby likes the smell of the robes. Both mine and Jason's robes hang on the door and I guess they must smell of us.

This realisation brought back a lost memory of my own Mom's robe. When I was little Mom had a very soft bright orange robe that was kind of shaggy. I can't imagine what it was made of but it had great big orange plastic buttons shaped like flowers (well, it was the 70s). I loved the smell of that robe. I can remember burying my face in it and finding the smell so comforting. In fact, when Mom finally threw it out I kept one of the buttons and probably have it somewhere here in the flat, tucked away safe and sound. I wonder if Mom remembers that robe?

Autumn

Autumn is officially here. I've turned on the central heat and spent all day yesterday coat shopping for the kiddos. It was an interesting experience. It's the first time that I've really shopped for Rosie and asked for her opinion. I knew if I bought a coat that she didn't like then there would be hell to pay every single morning when I tried to put it on her. OK, I'm all for democracy in the home but it was an exhausting experience. Rosie wanted to try everything on, then she'd look at herself in the mirror and immediately want to take it off again shouting "NO LIKE IT! OFF! OFF!"

We must've tried on every little girl's coat in Bluewater but everything was itchy or too big or too small but mostly it was just a case of "no like it". For a moment I thought Rosie was going to choose a hideous white fake fur coat because she kept it on for a millisecond longer than the others but, thankfully, decided "no like it" too. Finally we found a brown tweed herringbone coat at Next with pink flowers embroidered on it. Rosie admired herself in the mirror while wearing it and decreed it "nice". I paid for it before she could try on anything else.

And Toby is no easier. This year he wanted a duffle coat but they were very hard to find. I finally found one in Monsoon Kids. It was nice and "flat" too (Toby hates anything too puffy) but was more than I was hoping to spend. I couldn't find anything else remotely suitable so ended up buying it in the next size up so Tobes can hopefully wear it for two years (ha ha). I made sure not to remove the tags until the new coat got the royal nod but I'm pleased to say that all was well.

Pictures to follow soon. They do look so cute in their winter clothes. I still need to get Rosie a new hat and scarf but I need to prepare myself for another afternoon of "no like it" first.

Suffering now

Thank god Jason gets home tonight. After our day out yesterday I'm really suffering. Cough, fever, runny nose, the works. I thought I could rest a little and entertain the children in the flat today with movies, a tent, milkshakes, etc, etc, but they seem to be below par too. It's been a whole day of bickering, tears, "I don't like it!" and "She hit me!". And my cleaner just rang to say that she can't make it this afternoon so I'm going to have to get my sorry butt out of the chair and hoover up all the crumbs the children have scattered throughout the flat this morning.

Kill. Me. Now.

Ill but trying to ignore it

I've had a sore throat for over a week but I've been doing my best to ignore it in the hope that it will go away. It seems to have gone up a notch today though but I'm still not letting it get to me. Toby was collected from school to have tea at his friend Teddy's house today and I don't pick him up until 6pm so I've had the whole day to do whatever Rosie and I wanted. I couldn't waste that.

We grabbed a coffee at Starbucks (don't tell the guys at Costa!) and took the train into town. First stop, National Gallery. This is the kind of thing I did all the time with Toby when he was tiny but just haven't managed that often the second time around. We strolled through the galleries and I would ask Rosie if she could find a dog or a baby or a boat in a painting and she would walk around looking at everything until she found what she was looking for. It was a lot of fun and we found lots of babies since we were in the Renaissance section most of the morning.

After the gallery we took my usual path through Leicester Square down to Waterstone's and spent another hour in the children's section reading books and choosing treats for Tobes and Rosie. Then lunch and Rosie passed out. I retraced my steps and managed a quiet cup of tea at the National Gallery cafe while Rosie slept and then we headed back to Blackheath. A lovely afternoon.

Things we saw today:

A group of tramps sitting on the steps of the National Gallery singing at the top of their voices along with Madonna's Holiday being played on a cheap jam box.

A very elderly woman in full Goth mode including purple eyeshadow and black fishnets.

Leonardo's cartoon for Madonna of the Rocks which has been moved from its special little viewing room for some reason.

Japanese tourists buying cartons of tea in Fortnum and Mason (the Queen's grocery store)).

The new signs in Trafalgar Square warning of a five hundred pound fine for feeding the pigeons. I remember when they used to sell dried peas from a little booth in the square expressly for that purpose. I'm getting old.

Time for some photos

This is me and my friend from high school, Walt Moran. Walt was in London with work and came out to see us. The kids loooooved him. We picked Tobes up from school and went out to Pizza Express and talked and laughed a lot. So great to see Walt and catch up. I'm hoping we can go visit him and his soon-to-be-wife Jen once they get moved to DC.



Here's Rosie and J watching the buses go by at Costa. Rosie is wearing her favourite top that Mom sent her. Every morning Rosie says "Cat! Cat! Nana Cat!" when I'm trying to get her dressed because she wants to wear her cat top from Nana. That thing has already been through the wash so many times I'm surprised it isn't falling apart.



Look at those eyes. Such a gorgeous girl.

Into the belly of the beast...

I have officially put myself forward to be the Secretary of the school Friends Committee. A thousand thanks to Elizabeth for taking care of the children so that I could attend the meeting tonight.

It was a strange experience. So often I find myself in situations that seem surreal. I remember having Christmas lunch in Tokyo with the British ambassador's wife who was telling a story about the corgis playing up the last time she dined with the Queen. In the middle of the story I had an out of body experience and I seemed to be looking at myself sitting at the table and saying "Kathy Black, how the fuck did you get here?!" It was the same tonight. One moment I was listening to a discussion about the new surfacing material for the playground and the next I was floating above the meeting wondering when I had moved to Stepford.

Because all of the cliches are true. The same scenarios must be playing out at parent/teacher groups all over the world. I think the highlight of tonight's meeting was when one of the mum's suggested that the sweatshirts which form part of the school uniform are a bit expensive and perhaps we should look for a different supplier. She was silenced by another mum snapping "Well, if you want something made in a third world country!" Oh, it gets dirty on the Friends Committee.

So, soon I'll be driving a Volvo station wagon and plotting to overthrow the Chair of the Friends Committee with a politically charged coup based on her use of margarine rather than real butter in the cakes she submits for the bake sale. Stand back.

Sunday

Had a nice morning. We all got up and went to Costa for breakfast. Usual chaos with J and I attempting to drink coffee, look through the papers, have a conversation and keep the children entertained all at the same time. Our friends Marija and Andy came in with their little boy James and the children took it up a notch. We left before the whole place was demolished.

Came home and Toby and I made key lime pies for a birthday party we went to this afternoon. J is off on a weeklong trip now. He's in Milan for the first half of the week then he's taking a train to Paris to meet Kieran and they're going to the France vs Ireland rugby match on Friday at the Stade de France.

J left at lunchtime and I got the children ready for the party. I decided to take the car even though one of the shock absorbers is broken. I've got to have it repaired this week but with both children, the nappy bag, the birthday present and two lime pies there's no way I wanted to attempt walking to the party. So I got everyone and everything into the car and we bumped our way over to the party.

We were there about fifteen minutes before Toby and Rosie started arguing over a toy. I finally calmed them down and was just getting into a nice conversation with another mum when Rosie started pushing a little boy. I broke up that little argument then got another glass of champagne. Toby and Rosie were soon at it again and I walked out into the garden just in time to see Toby smack Rosie in the head. Put Tobes into Time Out, cuddled Rosie and tried to enjoy myself.

After breaking up yet another tussle I attempted once again to have a conversation with a grown up. I soon realised that Toby and Rosie were no longer in the garden. I went into the house and found Rosie playing very nicely with some puzzles but couldn't find Toby anywhere downstairs or in the garden. I was standing in the hall checking the living room again when I heard "Mo-om!" from upstairs. Uh oh.

Tobes had wet his pants. At least he made it to the bathroom first but he was soaking. His T-shirt, his trousers, pants, socks and shoes were covered as well as the bathroom floor. Oh. My. God. There was no way to just tidy him up. We would have to leave. I explained this to Toby and he started crying and shouting that he hadn't had any birthday cake yet. Managed to calm him down, clean the bathroom floor, dress Toby in his wet clothes and stand him by the front door before going in search of Rosie who had wandered back into the garden and was now happily playing with the other children.

Tried to explain to Rosie that we needed to go and she immediately went into kicking and screaming mode. I couldn't even pick her up because she was thrashing around and every time I came near her she ran off. Finally managed to catch her, plug a dummy in her mouth, grab the nappy bag, make our apologies and get out the door. We had been at the party less than an hour.

Got Toby home and bathed and then put him in his pajamas. I thought briefly about trying to return to the party but decided to just surrender. It's 4.30pm and I'm just waiting until a time that I can decently go to bed.

Cautiously celebrating

It looks like we've finally sold the flat! It's the Canadian couple who are buying it. Thank goodness Jason is such a good and determined negotiator or I'm sure it would never have happened. We got them up to a price that we can live with and have agreed to their numerous demands which include keeping all of our white goods (large appliances, do we call them white goods in the States?), all of our window dressings and to have some bad plaster in the living room repaired. Jason asked if they wanted one of the children too but they declined. Maybe an arm or leg? Pound of flesh? No? Oh, OK then.

Jason also managed to get a reduction on the price of the house. Yes, he's been on fire this week! Everyone wants to move quickly so we're hoping to be in by November. Yes, that is quick in England. I was afraid it would be after Christmas but it looks like we'll be having Christmas in our new house.

We have one other hoop to jump through for the Canadians before we get too excited though. There's a patch of bad plaster in the living room from when the window frame leaked during one of the heavy rains this summer. We spoke to our builder about it and he agreed to repair it but the Canadians want for their surveyor to see it and assess it before it's repaired!! Good lord, do they honestly think we're trying to con them or something? I do find their approach rather offensive. At first I thought we might become friends being fellow North Americans and all but now I think not.

Ah well, we'll have plenty of friends and neighbors on Kellerton Road. I'm already thinking about organising a regular Coffee Morning, maybe a neighborhood book club, a Christmas drinks party, oh the possibilities are endless. And we'll need to buy some new furniture for the new place. I want a Welsh dresser for the dining room. Not very fashionable but I do love them. We're going to hit the antique stores because I'd rather have something with a bit of character. God, next it'll be gingham at the windows and ducks on everything. I really am turning into my mother.

God is a hermaphrodite and Adam & Eve didn't have bellybuttons

Toby and I have a little chat every night before he goes to sleep. We talk about his day and our plans for the following day and it's when I really learn what's going on in his head, what he's worried about, what he's excited about and generally what's on his mind.

Tonight he was telling me about a story he heard at school today about how God made a man named Adam, then took out his rib and used it to make a woman called Eve. Ah, the joys of church school. Now that Tobes is in Year 1 he'll start having religious studies every week. They start out with Christianity, it being a Church of England School, but as the children get older they'll learn about all the major world religions. I'm really pleased about this but since Jason and I are both atheists it does make for interesting conversations with Toby.

We generally take the approach of "Yes, that's what some people believe but other people think this or that but no one knows for sure." and end these discussions with "The important thing is to learn as much as you can, ask lots of questions and then decide what YOU believe when you're older."

Today's story at school (done with teddy bear puppets, I might add) was all about the creation of the world and the first people. Toby found it all very interesting but wanted to clarify a few points such as who was the Mommy of Adam and Eve. I explained that God made them as adults and they were never babies. Tobes thought about this for a while then said "So God must be half man and half woman because he had an egg and a seed to make people." I tried to explain the idea of a miracle and that God wouldn't necessarily need biology to make a person. Toby thought a bit longer and then said "So, if they were never in a Mommy's tummy they wouldn't have had belly buttons. That's weird." Oh the lovely sweetness of a five year old's mind.

We chatted for about half an hour about the forbidden fruit and the Garden of Eden and Toby explained that the teddy bear puppets had clothes on after they ate the fruit because they realised they were naked. We also talked about evolution just to balance things out but Toby decided that we couldn't come from monkeys because we don't have tails. Just before falling sleep Toby yawned a big yawn and whispered "It's all such a big mystery." I couldn't have said it better myself.

Feeling much better after my day of frustration on Friday. When I read back through my post that day it sounds as if I'm very pro-globalisation and want for England to be more like America. That is definitely not true. I may love all of the convenience and ease of living in the States but I love England for all its quirks and differences. Why else would I continue to live here?

Jason is in Monte Carlo this week... and he says he's working. He also said that they organised a helicopter to take him from the airport to his hotel. Sounds like fun to me!

My recipe has been published in the Good Granny Cookbook by Jane Fearnley-Whittingstall. I was hoping they would include some of my stories about growing up in Texas but it's just the recipe (for Blackberry Cobbler) and my name. I am mentioned in the acknowledgements though, which is nice.

My next little escapade is taking part in a TV show called Real Women where ordinary women go out for ad campaigns against actual models. I think I must be completely mad to even contemplate this one. Especially since I've just learned that the ad they think I'm best suited for is the Ultimo campaign. I'm not sure my ego will survive the experience.

Still no new news on the flat. I've been to-ing and fro-ing between the management company and both estate agents this week but no new developments so far. The Canadians are apparently still interested and I've been doing my best to find answers to their many, many questions. The house is still available too so hopefully by some miracle it will still all come together.

It's never easy

One of the things that still bothers me about living in England is the lack of convenience. It has improved in the last 14 years that I've been here. When I first arrived most shops were open from 10-6 Monday to Saturday and closed on Sundays. And that included grocery stores though they would often have a 'late' night on Thursdays and be open until 7 or maybe even 8. Woo hoo. TV channels started the day at 6am and finished somewhere around midnight. There were also a lot more individual shops then so if you wanted to buy say a T-shirt, a pair of scissors and a pint of milk you would have to go to three different shops.

Those things have improved but it's still not nearly as convenient living in England as it is in the States. One of the things I really miss are drive-thrus. They are rare, to say the least, in England. First of all because there just isn't the space for them. In urban areas where they would be most useful every meter of land is in use and no one wants to potentially waste a lot of space with a drive-thru when there could be another shop in that space instead. There are days when I would give my left arm for a few drive-thrus. Today was one of them.

Toby had his heart check-up today (it all went well but there's no change in his condition). Of course, we were running late and I hadn't eaten a thing so I thought we would stop by Costa and I would grab a coffee and croissant for the journey to the hospital, which takes about an hour. No drive-thru of course so I had to drive around the village twice looking for a parking space, park on the other side of the village, buy a parking ticket, get both kids out of their carseats which involved Rosie throwing her bottle down the gutter, then get Rosie into the stroller and finally schlep over to the coffee shop. By the time we got back in the car with breakfast half an hour had passed.

After Toby's appointment I needed to feed him before taking him into school. The idea of taking them to a cafe or restaurant was out of the question because time was short. There's a McDonald's near the hospital so I decided to go there. And yes, I am aware of the irony of taking Toby to McDonald's after a heart check-up.

Realised I didn't have any cash. Stopped at one gas station but they didn't have a cash point. Of course, no drive-thru banking and no drive-thru cashpoints. I decide to stop in Chislehurst, get some cash and then go to a Burger King that's on the way back to Blackheath. Get to Chislehurst and it's impossible to get to the cash machine at the HSBC. I drive into the tiny carpark but there isn't a single space. I contemplate just stopping in the driveway, I'm so desperate and irritable by now, but there are cars trying to get in and out. I drive off in frustration.

I try the Barclay's cashpoint next. Nowhere to park. You're supposed to park in the Pay & Display car park and then walk over to the cash machine. The car park is far enough away that I wouldn't feel safe leaving the children in the car so would have to get them both out and back in again. Finally I lose all patience, park in the middle of a Keep Clear zone and jump out with cars honking from both sides and get some cash. As I try to pull out again some daft old bat tries to turn in as I'm pulling out and we both get stuck. Cars are honking, dirty looks all around but no one is shouting yet so I'm not too concerned. Finally manage to set off again by pulling forward and backing up inch by inch (the old bat won't give a single centimeter).

In the end we eat and make it back to Toby's school only half an hour late which isn't too bad considering the morning we've had.

Now if I was in Texas I would've got my coffee at a Starbucks drive-thru, my cash at a drive-thru ATM and gotten the kids something from another drive-thru and had a car picnic. So much less frustration. I have heard the argument that it's the convenience of life in the States that make Americans the fattest nation in the world, and I can see some truth in that, but sometimes it would just make life a lot more pleasant and me a much nicer person to have that convenience.

A few verbal snapshots...

Rosie and Toby sitting in the bath. Rosie notices Toby's willy, points at it and...

Rosie: Ewww! Yucky!!
Toby: It's not yucky! It's my willy!

A few days later Rosie comes into the bathroom as I'm getting out of the shower. As she walks off I hear her shouting to Toby: "Mommy's willy gone-gone!!"

********************

Overheard as Toby and his friends were playing in the trees at the park...

Solar: Look I can climb the tree!

All the boys: Me too! Me too! Let's all climb the tree! Let's all be monkeys!

Toby: I'll be a cheeky monkey!

********************

At bedtime...

Me: Rosie, do you want your dummy?

R: No!

Me: Are you sure?

R: No dummy!

Me: Why don't I just leave it here so you can get it if you change your mind.

R: No! NO DUMMY!

Me: OK then. [I put the dummy away.]

R: Want dummy! Want dummy!

Me: OK, here's your dummy.

R: No!

-Repeat ad nauseum-

Back to school

Today is Toby's first day in Year 1. Last year he wore a polo top and the school sweatshirt but he's decided that he wants to wear the blazer and tie this year. Now, this isn't down to any kind of fashion sense but rather a growing interest in Dr Who. Toby's friend Teddy was the only boy who wore a blazer last year (also because of Dr Who) and this year Toby and Solar joined him. I also heard at least two other mums talking about trying to get blazers for their boys. So, fashion mags take note. This term the look for stylish Year 1 boys is all about the blazer.

Yesterday we went to Manor House Gardens and bumped into loads of children from Toby's class. It was a nice way to ease back into the school term. I've really missed the routine of the school year and I know Toby has missed the stimulation and his friends. Because the children get just six weeks off every summer the families seem to disappear on vacation for most of August so we didn't see that much of Toby's friends. We stayed put in London and, though it was restful, we have seen the wisdom in getting away. No one is here, London is overrun with tourists and everyone benefits from a change of scene. Next year we'll be going away.

So, it's with a huge sigh of relief all around that the school year has begun. We've already got two birthday parties to attend this weekend and once I join the Friends Committee I'll be even more busy than usual. Can't wait!

Still haven't sold the flat but the house we want is still available and we're deep in negotiations with the couple who gave such an initial low offer. They've raised the offer to a more acceptable level and we're just trying to fine tune the details now but we're hopeful. They're a Canadian couple and I assume that it's all a bit different and perhaps confusing here. I know it's a lot different to the way things are done in the States.

The funny thing is that the estate agent obviously doesn't realise that I'm American but, I guess because of their accents, she thinks that the couple trying to buy the flat are American. We've heard such witticisms as: "I know they're Americans but we all have our problems, heh." and "God, these Americans. You have to spoon-feed them everything." Jason and I keep saying we should probably set her straight but it's just so entertaining.

Gym Mummy

I never thought I would say this but I'm really enjoying going to the gym at the moment. I have never been a gym bunny... well, there was that brief spell in 1990 when I worked at Presidents Health Club and lived in lycra. Thankfully, it didn't last long. I do love our gym though. We have our fair share of posers but overall there's a real mix of people of all ages, shapes and sizes. This morning I watched a woman walking on the treadmill who was at least 80 years old and wearing a kneelength full skirt with the latest Nikes. We have lots of older people, especially women, who do yoga and Pilates. Lots of mums like me who are there for a bit of exercise and to get away from the kids for a couple of hours. And lots of families there to swim and eat in the cafe.

The cafe is great. Not a power bar or glucose drink in sight. They have a few healthy options like fruit salad and yoghurts and some lovely salads on the menu, but they also have a Costa franchise and make huge great frothy cappucinos. They do a full English breakfast with bacon, sausage, eggs, the works. And they sell gorgeous chocolate cake and caramel slices too. Well, what is the point of exercising if you can't then eat a cream cake every once in a while.

I don't go to the gym to socialise. It's my Me time. My routine is to get there as early as possible and do my half hour on the treadmill then stretch and do some pilates. Afterwards I take a long shower uninterrupted by shouts of "She hit me! Give that back!" and "Moooooomeeeee!!". Then I have breakfast, either two poached eggs with toast and jam or a big bowl of oatmeal, with a cappucino of course and I sit and read the papers or a good book while I eat. No one interrupts me. No one asks for a bite of my food or shouts that my eggs look yucky. I might even check my email too and by the time I go home I feel refreshed and relaxed.