Mid-life crisis (yes, another post about getting older)

I posted a while back about Jason entering the great cliche of a mid-life crisis. He already bought the sports car, thank god there's still no sign of a twenty-something secretarial affair. It's not all just silly stuff though. There's a lot of angst, a lot of introspection, a lot of exhausting reassessment and now I've caught it too.

Of course, me being me, I want to attack this thing head on. I want to define it, understand it, work it out. Wallowing is not allowed (except in small doses). I've been googling this morning and one thing that I've learned is that this middle life pause is nothing new and certainly not unique to us. There are shelves of self-help books on the subject, loads of websites (some unintentionally very funny) and lots of advice on ways to cope with your mid-life crisis and your spouse's mid-life crisis. Worryingly, a number of these articles are linked to other articles with titles like "Surviving your partner's infidelity" and "Putting your life back together after divorce". Scary stuff.

I've also looked into literature, art and music and it seems like many creative people did their best work in later life. In their youth the work flowed, then there was a time of struggle before a new phase of creativity which had more depth and meaning. This is good to know. Of course, I'm no great artist nor do I think I will ever be. In fact, my biggest struggle is the fact that I have everything I've ever wanted. Now what?

And this too is not unique. It's the modern 'affluenza'. People are achieving their goals earlier in life and then they don't know what to do with themselves. They have the material goals, the job success, the family, the home. And then what happens next? I have no idea but I'm trying to see it as an exciting prospect rather than a terrifying one.

Another common symptom of this stage of life is looking around and realising that what you thought you wanted isn't actually what you want at all. Or realising that what you've worked so hard to achieve doesn't live up to the initial goal or dream. One problem I'm facing is an old schoolmate who has a pretty amazing life. Her life functions on a completely different level as far as money, celebrity and glamour. On paper, she has much of what I had dreamed for myself in my wildest dreams. I can't help it, I compare myself to her and I feel a sense of disappointment. I'm glossing over a lot of details as far as how she achieved this lifestyle. But just looking at the surface I can see that her life takes a lot of work to maintain and living like that would take away from the things that I think are important like consistent time with the children. I think the thing is deciding what's important to me, what makes me happy and not comparing myself or my achievements to anyone else.

So what is important to me? What makes me happy? When I ask myself these questions it only underlines the fact that I have a lovely life and should be wallowing in happiness and satisfaction and not worrying about what someone I knew twenty years ago is doing. And I think that therein lies the heart of the matter. My life is fine, it's my perception of my life that needs work. It's all in my head. If anyone said that to me I would be tempted to punch them in the mouth, but I wonder if it's true. We have everything we need and lots of things we just want. We have friends, family and each other. Maybe all this navel-gazing is just a self indulgent time wasting psycho wank. Hmm, something else to think about.