Our big boy

Tomorrow is Toby's 3rd birthday and we bought him a scooter for his present. He picked it out yesterday and here he is this morning setting off for breakfast with Daddy. He looks so big! After seeing Cupcake yesterday and then seeing Tobes on his scooter this morning I'm starting to wonder how life can move so quickly.

A boy's allowed to dream a little... 

Yesterday at the car dealership. 

Working hard and trying to stay dry. 

Last weekend, working in the garden with Daddy. 

Potty Training Day 3

We finally started potty training on Tuesday. I must say that Tobes has done very well. He had five accidents on Tuesday but he used his potty about a dozen times. As long as the successes outnumber the accidents I'm happy.

So Tobes did well, but I hated it. I've become so accustomed to having a little space during the day. Just some time to check my email, make some phone calls, maybe look at a magazine. With potty training I had to be vigilant and was totally at Toby's beck and call. No 'just a minute, baby'. If he said he needed his potty I had to drop everything and get there or suffer the consequences. It was a good reminder of what it'll be like having a new baby in the house again. Maybe I'll just stay pregnant a bit longer.

Now we're on Day 3 and it's not so bad. I keep an eye on the clock and remind Tobes every half hour or so but the ball is in his court. He's gotten much better at controlling himself just in the last three days. On Tuesday it seemed like he had to wee constantly but yesterday he waited a whole hour before going. I noticed he was holding his willy and doing the I-gotta-pee dance so I asked him to sit on his potty and he did 'a big wee wee, Mama'.

Today he's only used the potty once so far but I feel comfortable enough to update my blog, check my email and chill out a bit. Hopefully this success will continue!

My brother is getting married!

My brother proposed to his girlfriend at the weekend and she accepted! They're hoping to get married in December but haven't set a date yet. I'm really excited for him. She seems like a really nice girl. Unfortunately, I've only met her once and it was after a very long day in Galveston. Nikki, Dyllin and I were almost delirious and had been laughing our heads off over some drug commercial that warns you could have 'anal leakage or a greasy discharge' if you take the drug. I'm guessing I probably didn't make the best first impression.

I'm hoping we can go over for the wedding but I'm getting conflicting advice about when newborn babies can fly. Gotta do some more research.

Seems all hell is breaking loose in London

Another crazy day in London. I've only heard bits on the news as Tobes and I were running errands all day but I did hear that the police actually shot and killed a suspect in a tube station this afternoon. I couldn't believe it. To put this into perspective for the Americans, I can think of only one other time that the police have had to shoot someone in over twelve years of my living in England. I'm sure there have been other times, but it's extremely rare. The police commissioner was interviewed and said that any loss of life is always regrettable but unfortunately the situation called for extreme measures. Can you imagine a US police chief saying it was unfortunate that they had to shoot a terrorist suspect?! Another thing I do love about the British is their respect for human life.

One of those mornings

Had to get Tobes to school this morning because they're making a little video. He had to be there at 9.30 and when I opened my eyes the clock said 8.45. Bugger. We both needed baths since I had to go to the hospital last night and Tobes was too tired for his bath before bed. [More about the trip to the hospital in the baby blog.] So I jumped out of bed... well, the closest thing to jumping a heavily pregnant woman can do... I kind of rolled over and stood up very slowly then got in the shower. As soon as I got out I started running Toby's bath.

Tobes had caught my sense of urgency and was undressing himself in preparation for his bath. When he took his nappy off he whipped it off so fiercely that a big poo flew out of it, stuck to the bathroom wall for a second and then slowly slid down to the floor. Leaving a nice muddy smudge in its wake. We both froze for a second, mesmerised by the poo, then I sprang into action again. So I was naked, still dripping wet and trying to clean poo off of the wall, floor and Tobes before getting him into the bath. Once he was settled and soaking I ran around trying to find something for us to wear.

I ended up grabbing a sheer gypsy top that I had worn the day before. I wear it with a tank top underneath but they were all downstairs in the pile of folded laundry on the sofa. I threw the top on and planned to change into a tank when we went downstairs. I looked at the clock - 9.24!! Yikes! Ran back into the bathroom, washed Toby's hair, got him out of the bath, dried and dressed him then tried to help him brush his teeth while I brushed mine at the same time.

Then the phone rang. It was J. There's a problem with the insurance for the new car and he wanted to discuss it. No time. I rambled out the situation and, though he probably didn't understand a word I was saying, he said he would call back later. Fine. Click.

Tobes and I ran downstairs, shoved our shoes on, grabbed my bag and ran out the door. I was just closing the door behind me, thinking how cold it felt this morning, when I realised that my boobs were showing through my sheer top for all the world to see. Ran back in the house, grabbed a tank top, put in on in the hall, put the sheer top back on and ran out the door again. This time we were fully dressed but both of us still had wet hair.

Amazingly, got Tobes to school just a few minutes late! Now, how on earth would I ever accomplish another morning like that with a second baby? Actually, I know exactly what would happen - we'd get to Toby's school and as I was strolling back home, feeling relieved, I would suddenly remember that I had left the baby upstairs in her bed.

Not again

More explosions in London today. We're all fine. It seems to be on a much smaller scale this time. So sad to see it happening, especially after having the ceremony of remembrance on TV this morning.

Guess who got a new camera

Tobes and I walked over to the park yesterday and I took the opportunity to try out our new camera...

Oops!

Meant to send the following images to the baby blog but have to work on my settings. Oh well, here they are and here they'll stay.

Cupcake at 23 weeks - getting nice and chubby, Look at those cheeks! 

Cupcake at 16 weeks - starting to become a little person 

Cupcake at 12 weeks - sucking on her toes 

Cupcake at 7 weeks - just a little tadpole 

Mad Cow and an Englishman

Yesterday we went and sorted out some details for the new mortgage in Blackheath then went and looked at cars. J suggested that as long as we're haemorrhaging money at the moment we might as well get a new car too - and one with air conditioning! Now, a new car for us is not a new car. Cars are not something we spend much money on. As long as it gets us from A to B in comfort and safety then that's about all I ask from an automobile. J, on the other hand, has dreams of a convertible Jag one day but even that will probably be a classic car and not something brand new.

For the last three years we've had a Renault Scenic that's now about five years old. It's been great and very reliable but we'd like a few extras now - AC, a CD player and electric windows. We found the perfect car. It's another Scenic but a slightly newer model and it has climate control, a 6 CD changer, electric windows and two electric sunroofs. Absolute luxury for us.

It was a bit of a trek finding the car. We first went to the Reanult dealer in Blackheath. They didn't have anything we wanted but they said there was a car that would fit our requirements in Orpington so we all got back in the car and drove out to Orpington. It was a hot day again so Tobes and I were pretty cranky. We got to Orpington but couldn't find the car and no one seemed interested in helping us. J asked a few people for assistance and they said someone would be with us shortly. Well, their version of 'shortly' was a lot longer than mine and I needed to wee. Unfortunately, they were renovating the dealership and didn't have a loo in the building. Great.

After waiting for what seemed like ages Tobes was getting more irritable, J was getting frustrated and I was close to wetting my pants. Finally, the pregnancy hormones kicked in in much the same way as Bruce Banner would turn into the Incredible Hulk. I ended up standing in the middle of the dealership and shouting 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CAN ANYONE HELP US!'

I've never seen people move so fast in my life, and that includes J who jumped about two feet in the air. I had just had it. You do not keep a hot, heavily pregnant, slightly incontinent woman waiting that long. Within ten minutes they were able to tell us that the car we were looking for was actually in Dartford and they even gave the guy in Blackheath a good bollocking over the phone as well for sending us to the wrong dealership. (I think they were actually angry with him for sending a pregnant mad cow to their dealership, rather than for him doing his job badly.)

Once we were back in the car and on our way to Dartford J and I got the giggles and I apologised in case I had embarrassed him. He said he loved it but maybe I should warn him next time so he doesn't poo his pants when I start shouting.

So, I calmed down, we made it to Dartford, loved the car and will pick it up next Saturday. So exciting!

Schools, schools

Went to visit a primary school in Blackheath. I can't believe I have to register Tobes in November for classes he won't start until 2007, but that's the way they're doing it now. Like I need more stress! You'd think that the Borough of Lewisham would consider my feelings.

The problem is that I've never been into an English primary school before. This was one of the better state schools in the area but to my American eyes it looked so disorganised and dirty. I'm used to seeing rows of individual desks, usually all facing the front of the room and children seated in alphabetical order either working or listening to the teacher. What I saw yesterday were tables scattered around a room, no assigned seating, some children working, some talking to the teacher, some outside the classroom playing. There seemed to be no 'front of the classroom'. I saw one class using the interactive white boards (no plain old blackboards anymore) and the students all gathered around and sat on the floor.

I spoke to J about it and it all sounded quite normal to him so I think it might just be cultural differences. I just don't see how children can learn in such a disordered environment. I've got three other schools to visit so I'm trying to keep an open mind but inside I'm freaking out. Are they all going to be like this?! One thing I should say is that the school does have its own music room and a computer room with about thirty new PCs. They also seem to have a very well-rounded curriculum with the usual math, english, science, history plus a fair amount of art, music and sports. They also seemed to have a very international approach to their subjects. I saw the usual triangles, recorders, etc in the music room but I noticed that they also had tin drums and I noticed quite a few fine art prints in the classrooms. So, it's not all bad but it was a shock to say the least.

Houses, friends, potties

Heard from our estate agent and the sale is 'reluctantly' going through on the house. They can be as reluctant as they like, just as long as they buy the bloody house. So we're progressing the buying of the flat in Blackheath. Moving date is 30 September! We're getting really excited and once we exchange contracts I'm going to visit the flat again and measure windows, check paint colours, etc. Ideally we'd like to paint most of the rooms and rehang the doors before the baby arrives. The doors are currently hung in that very old-fashioned way so that they open into the room rather than to the wall, which really cuts up the space. We'd also like to have a TV cabinet built and remove some cabinets and shelves in the third bedroom so Mom and Dad have somewhere to sleep when they come over.

So much to do! I wonder how much we'll actually accomplish before the baby arrives. For some reason the words 'sod all' spring to mind.

Had a lovely weekend. We're gearing up to finally get serious about Toby's potty training so we went out on Saturday and let him choose some new underpants. He picked Batman and Postman Pat and he's been wearing them over his pull-ups every day. I borrowed Gina Ford's book on potty training in a week and it sounds very promising aside from the bit that advises not to start potty training if a new baby is expected within a few months, you're moving house within a few months, or the child will be changing schools. Hmmm, a little worrying but it's time we gave this some serious attention so I've marked off week after next to get on with it.

I'm hopeful that Tobes will catch on quickly. He's been using his potty off and on for almost a year. He happily wees and has even done a couple of poos in it. He's even used a public bathroom before. The problem has been that I haven't been ready for potty training. I really dread cleaning up wet/pooey underwear and having the house smell like the stairwell of a tube station for a while. I've been trying to build up my energy for the challenge and I think the time is finally here.

On Sunday we went out for a very nice lunch with our friends Pete and Philippa. J and I are trying to eat out less often but go to nicer places when we do go out. On Sunday we went to The Chophouse which is a Conran restaurant overlooking Tower Bridge and serves good English food. J and I had the traditional beef roast with Yorkshire pudding, Pete had steak and kidney pudding and Philippa had pork loin. One of the problems of going to nicer restaurants is the lack of children's menus, changing facilities, etc. So Toby ended up with the largest (and most expensive) platter of fish and chips I've ever seen. He nibbled a chip, ate some batter off the fish and pronounced himself 'stuffed'. Will remember that next time.

Of course, since there were no baby changing facilities Toby took the opportunity to do a massive poo. I ended up having to change him in a stall in the ladies room with me sitting hunched over on the toilet with Toby standing up and trying to open the stall door. There were other people in the loos so I did my best to sound like Mother of the Year - 'Now, darling don't open the door... can you just let me clean your bottom... no, please don't touch that... please, don't touch Mommy's hair... etc, etc'. I'm sure I heard giggles coming from at least one of the other stalls. So much for an elegant afternoon out. I think it was when I was cleaning the poo out of my hair later that the sudden urge to get serious about potty training kicked in. Funny, that.

Back to normal

J made it home on his usual train last night with no problems and he's back at work this morning. I know London will be running as normally as possible and I have the deepest respect for the way that everyone is handling the situation. No beating chests and sobbing, no anger or aggression, just an overriding disgust for the terrorists and a determination not to let them affect daily life.

Tony Blair was particularly eloquent when he spoke of British stoicism and resiliancy and when he said:

"We will show by our spirit and dignity and by the quiet but true strength that there is in the British people that our values will long outlast theirs [the terrorists]. The purpose of terrorism is just that, it is to terrorise people, and we will not be terrorised... This is a very sad day for the British people but we will hold true to the British way of life."

So, the investigations begin and our hearts go out to the injured and to people who have lost loved ones. We only know one person who was caught in the chaos, the son of one of J's colleagues. He was on the train behind the train carrying the bomb out of Aldgate. His train was derailed and he was thrown around a bit, getting some cuts and bruises, but was able to walk away and is fine.

We're definitely counting our blessings today.

Just spoke to J...

... and he's on his way home. Most of the overground trains are back in service. They'll be quite overcrowded because the tubes are still shut but he'll be able to make his normal commute. God, the English are so resilient. If you're ever in a crisis you want a Brit by your side. The most unflappable people I've ever met. They're hoping to have the tube service restored by tomorrow morning or even late tonight, aside from the damaged lines of course. The feeling seems to be to just get on with normal life as soon as possible.

There still seems to be some concern that this isn't all over yet but, because J is in risk management, they have a number of terrorist experts in the office and they think that it's over now. The chance of more bombs today is very small. Very reassuring to hear since J is about to get on public transport.

Calming down now

Lots of speculation flying around but the worst seems to be over. J will probably have to walk out of the City and Tobes and I will drive and meet him somewhere on the edge of London. It's a cold, wet day so not the best weather for a long walk but I'm sure he'll have lots of company as everyone will be doing the same thing.

Tobes and I need to run some errands, have a doctor's appointment and will just get on with our day now. Can't sit in front of the TV worrying about it all day.

Absolutely bloody terrified

J's at work in London, not far from one of the stations that have been hit. I've spoken to him twice and he says it's worse than they're saying on TV. There are bomb scares all over the city now and they've been told not to leave the office. J works right in the heart of the financial district which really frightens me. When I speak to him I can hear all the sirens in the background.

The latest theory I've heard is that this is phase one of a larger plan. First step is to disable the transport system and get the rescue and police crews busy. I desperately hope that that is just a conspiracy theory.

I'm watching BBC 24 and Skys News but my best source of quick info has been my British Mums online group. Lots of women watching different networks and sending in the details. You can see the continuing discussion here:

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1372&threadid=90167

Grrrrrrr

So, spent all day yesterday in Blackheath having our offer accepted and starting the mortgage process for the new flat. J spoke to our solicitors and our agents here in Chislehurst to tell them about the change in plans. We ended up agreeing to a moving date of 30 September because the people selling the flat in Blackheath want to wait until their baby is born before they move. It's their first and they obviously have no idea how much easier it would be to move before the birth! We tried to apply a little bit of pressure to see if they would move earlier, but nope. 30 September was the best we could get.

So our agents went to our buyers and explained that there was a change in plans. They were disappointed in the later move date but everything seemed fine. Then, this morning we get a call saying that our buyers are considering pulling out because of the change of dates!!! Aaaaaarrrgh!! Aside from us moving into a hotel or something for four weeks, there's nothing we can do. And honestly, the thought of moving out of our house then into temporary acommodation for a month, then into a flat that we need to decorate while being heavily pregnant and trying to cope with the moving anxieties of a three year old.... well, that sounds like absolute hell.

J has said that all we can offer is 30 September. We've already given them a reduction on the asking price and we just have nothing else to give. Now, our future is in their hands. If they pull out we'll have to put the house back on the market and hope for the best. Worst case scenario is that it all falls through and we end up staying in this house until next year. Not great, but we still love the house and I'm sure we'd be fine. I'd feel really bad for the people we're hoping to buy from in Blackheath though because we'd have to pull out of that deal too.

Yuck, yuck, yuck.

And so it begins

This morning I was putting Toby's shoes on while he sat on the stairs (I'm getting too big to bend over) and I noticed a Spiderman sticker stuck to one of the bannisters. I looked at Toby and said 'We're not supposed to put stickers on the stairs. I wonder who put this here.'

Tobes thought for a moment then his face lit up and he replied, 'I think maybe my sister did it.'

Holy Cow

Went to look at a flat to rent on Saturday. It's in a beautiful location, has four bedrooms, but is pretty dire. We were walking back to the car which we'd parked in a really lovely street, happened to see a For Sale sign on a place and decided to get the details.... just out of interest.

48 hours later and we've made an offer on the place, which has been accepted!! So much for renting. It's a sweet little three-bed flat. We would eventually want to replace the kitchen and bathroom, but just because it isn't to our taste. We could easily live there in the meantime. It's a short walk to Toby's school and the village and the street it's on is just beautiful.

The only issue is the moving dates. The couple who own the flat are expecting their first baby in September and would rather wait and move in October. We, on the other hand, would like to move as soon as possible. Preferably by mid-August. If we can sort out the dates then it should all go ahead. We just don't want to hurt the sale of our house by delaying. We should know by the end of the day what's going to happen.

Note to self:

Buy Toby some vests.

One of those funny differences

Though I really loved the Montessori school we visited yesterday, there was one comment that has been bugging me. The Headteacher was explaining the different extra classes like French, music, swimming and dance and said that for the dance class the children 'strip down to their pants and vests and have a wonderful time'. Let me translate that for the Yanks - 'pants' means underwear and 'vests' are little cotton tank tops many, if not most, English children wear under their clothes year round.

Hmmm, stripping down to your drawers to dance around? That seemed very strange to me. Why do they need to take their clothes off? I asked J if he felt funny about it and he was fine with it. I asked Elizabeth and she agreed that it was weird too. So I decided to post on Mumsnet, my favourite British mothering website, and see what most British mums thought of it. Well, apparently it's quite normal and up until a few years ago many PE classes were held with the children in their pants and vests!!

I know you Texans are cracking up at the thought of a bunch of kids running around playing sports in their underwear. It does make me smile. Just seems like a funny thing to do but apparently changing into shorts and T-shirts is just 'too much of a hassle' and 'why bother' (quoting from responses on Mumsnet).

So, starting in September, every Thursday afternoon Toby is going to take his clothes off and dance around with a bunch of other children. My sweet little English boy. I'm going to have to buy him a bebe gun or something to balance this out. (Just joking!)