Grandmas- what would we do without them

I woke up on Tuesday night at about 11.30 and realised that the power had gone out. It was raining pretty hard so I assumed, in my logical mind, that it was just due to the weather. My illogical mind assumed that it was the car thieves we had seen the day before. They had cut our electricity and were either about to break into the house or were already hiding somewhere waiting for me. Geez. I knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep until I walked through the house, made sure everything was secure and that the burglar alarm was still on.

J was still in the hospital and I'm not brave enough to get up in the middle of the night and walk around a dark house all by myself. What to do? Ah! I decided to ring someone in the States and keep them on the phone with me while I checked everything out. God bless the time difference. Tried Kellie, not in. Tried Nikki, not in. Uh oh. I was going to have to ring Mom and Dad's house. I knew they were both at work but my grandmother lives with them and I knew Grandma would answer the phone. Grandma, God bless her, can be a bit dingy. It's not just an old age thing, she's always been a bit like that but it has become more pronounced with age. She also has trouble understanding my Texan/English accent so I have to lay on the drawl nice and thick when I talk to her.

Just then I heard a sound downstairs that could've been rain against a window or a glasscutter being used. OK, Grandma it is. So I called, explained the situation and got up to check out the house. Grandma was making conversation in my ear - family news, asking after Jason, etc. Then, just as I started to head down the dark staircase she decided to change topic.

You must imagine this with a thick, elderly Texan accent - 'Did your Mom tell you about the serial killer we had down here?' I stopped on the stairs thinking surely she wasn't going to tell me about their serial killer right now. Yep, she was. 'He'd break into houses where he knew women were home all alone. He killed three but the fourth one, she was a fighter and he didn't kill her.' I continued doing my rounds of the house, desperately trying to tune out the details of Grandma's story. 'She's in the hospital and they think she's gonna live but he got away. They're still looking for him.'

By then I had finished my circuit and everything was shipshape and secure. Time to wrap this conversation up. I went back upstairs and thanked Grandma for her help. She ended the call with 'Don't worry, baby. Jason will be home in a couple of days to keep the boogers away'. I felt like I was about ten and knew that this story would be circulating among our large extended family by dawn.

I said goodnight to Grandma, hung up the phone, got back under the covers and was just about to doze off when I remembered Grandma's voice - 'They're still looking for him'. Somehow I did manage to sleep, but it wasn't easy.

Break out the bubbly!

Time for a ticker tape parade - there's a baby in there and a big healthy one at that!! Everything looks great. They did the nuchal check and checked for a nasal bone (apparently 70% of Downs babies don't have one) and the chance of the baby having Downs is about one in three thousand. They asked if I wanted an amnio since I'm an 'older mother' (I did raise an eyebrow at that comment, but I guess it's probably true) and I said that we wouldn't. I'll have the AFP blood tests to back up today's results but I'm not worried.

It's been a very long, stressful day. Driving on London is such a nightmare. It took almost two hours to drive ten miles and then I had to wait half an hour to get a parking space. My appointment was at 11.30 and they finally called me in at 2.00! You can imagine how frustrated I was and how bored and manic Toby was by then. It was pretty damn hellish but thank goodness the outcome was a positive one.

I'll put the stats and further info on the baby blog. So glad today went well and J is supposed to come home tomorrow. The new hospital is actually quite nice and very peaceful but he's been bored out of his mind. J is defintely not one to sit and ponder the mysteries of the universe. He's ready to come back to the chaos that makes up our home. I wonder if anyone would notice if I took his place on that quite, peaceful ward. After the stresses of today I think I could use a little rehab.

Bun in Oven, Cat Out of Bag

Oops. Well, we were planning to wait until we had the results of tomorrow's ultrasound but I let the news slip a little early. We're pregnant!! 12 weeks yesterday. I'm feeling pretty good, had lots of morning sickness which is a good sign and just hoping for the best. I've been keeping a pregnancy blog at www.futersbaby2.blogspot.com and you're welcome to take a peek. I probably sound quite subdued but I think I'm holding my breath until the scan tomorrow. Trying to protect myself a little in case of heartbreak.

Spoke to J this morning and he's doing well but he's bored out of his mind. It looks like he's going to have to stay in the hospital all week because the appendix was gangrenous and perforated and they need to pump him full of antibiotics and make sure he's all cleaned out before he comes home. He's still on water only which is making him a little crazy. Tobes and I took him some fruit and chocolate yesterday thinking he would be eating this morning but he's asked us to take it home today. I think it's just too much temptation.

They're also going to transfer him to another hospital. I'm not sure why that's happening but I'll speak to the docs today. I would guess that he's just recovering and needs monitoring and they need his bed at Farnborough for more serious patients. The Americans reading this will probably be thinking 'What the...?!'. Hospitals in England just aren't as large as the ones we have in the States and the beds are quite limited. The National Health System is also run on a priority basis and now that J is past the worst he's dropped in priority. So he's going to be moved to another hospital that has a bed available. Sounds crazy, and it is.

Just thinking about today

As I was putting Tobes down I was thinking about the car thieves we saw today. In the same circumstances in Texas my reaction would've been totally different. Today I just continued walking to our car, past the crime being committed, exchanged a look with the thieves which said 'don't mess with my business and I won't mess with yours' and proceeded to buckle Tobes into his car seat and get myself into the car. In Texas I would've immediately turned around and run towards a group of people or a 'safe' place like into the grocery store.

Why the different reactions? Because in the US one or all of the following things could happen:

A. The thieves would shoot/stab/physically or verbally assault me and Toby just for seeing them commit a crime.

B. They would decide to take our car, since I had the keys in my hand it would be easier than having to break into the steering column.

C. They would take our car with me in it. Or with Tobes in his car seat in the back.

D. Or worse.

I know that these things could happen in England too. The fact is that it's not very likely. The guys today were obviously doing a job. One was in his 40s and quite overweight, the other in his 20s and seemed to be the apprentice as the older guy was telling him what to do. They were stealing a new 4X4 and had no interest in my little Renault Scenic. I would also go so far as to say that there is a genuine code of 'honour among thieves' in England. They saw I had a child, saw that I wasn't going to interfere and so they had no reason to bother me.

It's reasons like this that we stay in England.

Of course, in my imagination the thieves took my licence plate number and have used it to somehow find out where I live. They are now sitting in the white van across the street (yes, the van that I know belongs to our neighbor but they're car thieves so they could, in theory, get into it). Later they will break into the house, tie me and Tobes up and torture us for seeing them not just commit a crime but commit a crime badly. With these thoughts hovering in the back of my mind I have shat myself twice tonight at the sound of car doors slamming outside.

Will anything happen tonight? No. If English criminals are anything like English workmen they would never go to the hassle of doing anything 'extra' like looking up my address or expending energy in torture that will not make them any money. Outside of my line of expertise, luv. I'm just your bog standard car thief you see. Torture's just not my game.

Does crazy have a limit?

Went to visit J today and he's doing really well. He's up walking around, is in good spirits and managed a shower, so things are progressing well.

The hospital has a very small car park and Tobes and I arrived just after visiting hours started so the car park was packed and there were cars circling around like vultures. We finally ended up parking in a nearby grocery store parking lot and walking over to the hospital. When we were going back to the car I heard a loud banging noise and looked up to see two guys trying to steal a car! They were trying to get into the steering column and were banging away with a hammer. It was the middle of the day. In a busy grocery store parking lot. I couldn't believe it.

They heard us and looked up. We made eye contact and I just kept walking. My thoughts were to get me and Tobes in the car, lock the doors, drive off a bit and call the police with the licence plate number, descriptions, etc. Just as I was getting Tobes strapped in the owners of the car walked up. You wouldn't believe the audacity of the thieves. They didn't run off, they didn't even stop what they were doing. They said that they were impounding the car due to lack of payments. The owners were having none of that and started calling the police. Once the police were mentioned the thieves jumped into a nearby car and took off, with one of the owners hanging on the hood! I swear it was like being in an episode of Starsky & Hutch.

Needless to say, the thieves got away and the car owners were furious. I spoke to the lady and gave her my name and number. I told her I had gotten a good look at the guys and would do whatever I could to help. Crazy, crazy day.

But J is doing well and will hopefully be home on Tuesday or Wednesday. Tobes and I took him some newspapers and magazines today and I think he's actually enjoying the chance to totally rest. He was still unable to eat anything today but hopefully tomorrow he'll be able to have some small meals.

Now, it's past Toby's bed time and we're both pretty tired so I think we'll both turn in. I wonder what's going to happen tomorrow.

My Goodness

What a day we had yesterday. J woke up in the night with an upset stomach and wasn't feeling better in the morning. We put it down to a bad curry. When he started throwing up we decided it might actually be food poisoning. When he said it was getting worse and the pain was mostly on the right side I started getting dressed before he'd finished his sentence and we took off for the emergency room. Around midnight last night he had his appendix removed.

It's the first time in thirteen years that I've seen J really ill and it scared me. When we first arrived they found him a bed so he could lie down and gave him some morphine to ease the pain and he was able to sleep. I stood by the bed looking at him so pale and feverish, then looked at Tobes playing with his stickers at the hospital table, then at my growing belly and thought 'OK big guy, you better get through this. We need you.'

Thankfully it all went really well. There was a whizkid surgeon on call last night who was able to do the operation via keyhole surgery. They did say that the appendix was gangrenous and punctured which could explain the months of flu symptoms and low energy that J has been having. We were so relieved to hear that as the continuing illness was really getting J down.

So it's a very happy ending to a very long night. I'm so grateful to George for letting Tobes sleep at her house (and wake her up at midnight) so that I could be at the hospital with J. And the staff at Farnborough were great. I'm sure you always feel like things are dragging when someone you love is ill, but they reacted reasonable quickly and did an excellent job. They've also been very kind about me hanging around all night, which doesn't seem to be the norm.

Now it's time for balloons and chocolates so Tobes and I are going to do some shopping and visit J. I've spoken to him twice this morning and he's in good spirits and doing well.

Just got the call...

They came back at full price!! That's it. We've sold the house!!

We've got a bite!!

The nice couple came back for a second viewing last night and they've made an offer this morning! It's just £5,000 short of our asking price but they're the only people who have viewed the house so far so we said we would wait and see if anyone else would offer the asking price. They then asked if we would take the house off the market if they offered the asking price and we said that we would. Now I'm just waiting to see if they'll go to the asking price.

In England nothing is under contract until the actual contract on the house is exchanged so you get what's called gazumping. A seller will accept an offer on their house but keep it on the market to see if they can get a higher price for it. You can imagine how frustrating that can be for the buyer. You think you're getting a house then after spending money on surveys, searches, etc you get gazumped and are back at square one.

We just want to get the asking price and then we'll be more than happy to take the house off the market and start the process of moving. I've been looking at rental properties online and there are some that look really good. Our plan is to move into the cheapest, smallest thing that we can still be comfortable living in and then save, save, save for the next house. I'd love for the next house to be the last house. Because this couple would like to move quickly we could be moving as early as June!

Now I'm just waiting for that phone to ring....

Probably not a good sign

Our cleaner of over two years, Karen, came on Wednesday and Toby and I walked over to the grocery store while she was here. When we came back Karen was hoovering downstairs and I could sense an air of tension. Eventually she shut off the hoover, looked at me suspiciously and asked if 'someone else' had been cleaning the house. I explained that we had a viewing the night before and I had done some dusting and cleaning. She looked at me as if I was speaking Greek then said in very dubious tones 'You cleaned?'. I was finally able to reassure her that yes, quite miraculously I had cleaned my own house.

It reminded me of late last year when we went to Jenny and Kieran's and their little boy Jack had a toy hoover. Toby picked it up and I could see that he was confused as to what to do with it. I said 'It's a hoover like Mommy uses to clean the house.' Nope, still looks of confusion. 'Like Karen uses to clean the house.' Ahhhh! The light went on and he proceeded to hoover the carpet.

Must make more of an effort.

We've got a nibble

We had our first viewing last night and it went quite well. They're coming back on Thursday for a second viewing and I'm sure they're going to make an offer. I just hope it's close to our asking price.

They seem like a really nice couple and I'm so glad. I told J I didn't think I'd be able to sell our house to someone I didn't like. I mean, what if they were heavy smokers and planned to smoke in OUR house. I just wouldn't be happy with that. But, these people seemed lovely. They're a young couple, not married, no children but from the way she was looking at Toby I suspect she has plans for the future. They gave the house a really good going over and asked a lot of questions. I suspect they've seen some pretty dire properties because she asked me if we were going to take the oven with us and he seemed thrilled about the new boiler.

I'm discovering that this whole house selling/buying business isn't just about houses. It's about buying or selling a lifestyle. We looked at one flat in Blackheath that seemed to fulfil our needs on paper but we were immediately put off once we saw it. It was owned by a young bachelor who was doing quite well for himself but was still in that slightly immature, wild, twenty-something phase of life. There were black framed photos of celebrities all over the walls and a collection of booze that would rival any pub. Loads of gadgets too like a huge plasma screen TV and a big CD changer on the wall. It was the kind of place where you wouldn't dare open a cupboard or drawer for fear of a strange sex toy or vial of coke falling out. Needless to say, we didn't make an offer.

The house that we did hope to buy wasn't our ideal but the family who lived there was so nice that it made us think twice. They had two children, one about Toby's age, and as soon as we walked in the door Tobes felt right at home. The lady offered him some toys to play with and watched Tobes while J and I looked around the house. It felt like a happy place. Good karma.

Now, I'm not being silly. I wouldn't pass up a property that was great just because the owners weren't to our taste but I do think the atmosphere of a place makes a difference. If you can see yourself living the life of the current owners then it makes the property that bit more attractive. With that in mind, I'm hoping for a nice day for the viewing on Thursday. I thought I would get out the patio furniture and let Tobes play in the garden while I put my feet up and sip a glass of wine. There will be a sheet of homemade cookies cooling in the kitchen and some music playing in the background. That should just about do it.

Your own little piece of England

Anyone interested in buying a house?? Built in 1903 and once owned by the Earl of Sandwich.

http://www.georgeproctor.co.uk/viewproperty.asp?adid=305308

I know the owner. I could probably do you a good deal. ;-)

The Magic Word

I finally relented and bought Toby some new batteries for his keyboard. He loves the thing but I can only take so much of it so new batteries take a while to purchase (bad Mommy).

The conversation went something like this:

Toby: Mommy, put new batteries in piano.

Me: What's the magic word?

T: [thinking about it] Oh... Mommy, put batteries in piano NOW.

M: No, the other magic word.

T: Mommy, put batteries in piano please... NOW.

M: OK.

Well, you take what you can get.

We're getting into the real honesty phase of childhood now which can be so funny. When my sister was leaving for the airport she said goodbye to Toby and told him that she loved him. As she and I were walking to the door Toby piped up with 'I love you'. I could see that Nikki was touched and said 'I love you too!'. Toby's response - 'No, I love my MOMMY.'

The other night J was tucking Tobes in for the night and Jason said 'I love you very much'. Toby replied 'I love you a little bit, Daddy'.

Toby was playing around instead of eating his dinner recently and I told him he needed to sit down and fill his tummy before bed. He stuck out his stomach and said 'But my tummy already big and fat like yours Mommy.'

So much fun.

We've got our first viewing!

Tomorrow night a lady is coming to see the house. This is our first viewing so I'm feeling a little nervous. I'll show her around and she's bringing her mother so the place needs to be spotless. Feeling very nervous but excited about it.

It's very strange to think of someone else living in our house. We've worked so hard to make it our own. I hope the next owners love it as much as we have.

Feels like ages...

... since I wrote an entry for the blog. Lots has been going on but I'm afraid this will be a short one. We've been out all day seeing Thomas the Tank Engine. Had a brilliant time and Tobes loved it but I'm exhausted!

Our house is on the market now and J said it was in the estate agent's window when he walked by this morning. Viewings haven't started yet but hopefully things will kick into high gear next week. We still haven't found anything we love in Blackheath. Event the four-bed house would've been a compromise and we don't want to spend a ton of money on a compromise. For this reason, we've decided to sell our house here in Chislehurst and rent a place in Blackheath for a year or so. It'll give us a chance to get to know the different neighborhoods and the leisure to wait until we find the right property for us. Of course, if something great comes along soon we'd still consider buying but chances are we'll be renting. We'd like to be there by August or September this year so now the focus is on selling this house.

I think that's about all the energy I can muster right now. I'm off to lie on the couch for a bit.

Another one gets away

On Saturday we saw the four-bed house in Blackheath and really liked it. On Sunday we went to look at it again and decided to make an offer on Monday. Monday morning the estate agent called and the property has gone for the asking price. It was right at our limit so we're not prepared to increase our offer. So it's really gone. Ho hum.

So, we're still looking. Our place is going on the market. They're photographing the outside today and then coming to do the interiors on Wednesday, which means lots of tidying up before then. Time to House Doctor the place, clear away clutter and do a few repairs. We still haven't finished decorating the kitchen but we're both ready to just get the ball rolling. The weather is getting nicer so it's a good time to put the place on the market. Apparently, people buy more when the sun shines.

J and Tobes spent all Sunday afternoon working in the garden, mowing, trimming and sweeping. It does look nice. One thing about seeing so many other properties is that it makes us appreciate our place even more. If only it was a bit bigger... and in Blackheath.

San Diego wins

Nikki's visit went very well and the visit to St Martins accomplished its goal - she made her decision. Unfortunately, the decision was San Diego. Oh well, I do understand her choice. The London theatre design program is very theoretical. The students don't even build a set. The UC program is very hands-on and Nik will get a lot of valuable experience. The good news is that we'll be going out to San Diego within the next three years to visit. They have a Sea World and, of course, the great zoo so I know Tobes will love it.

Nikki left yesterday and I've felt a bit sad. It was a quick trip but we had a nice day in London. Tobes and I saw the mummies at the British Museum while Nikki was at the school then we all met up for edamame, gyoza and ramen for lunch before hitting the shops on Regent Street.

On her last night we had a tough night with Tobes. His cough has gotten worse and none of us have been getting much sleep. So we went back to the docs and this time Toby was prescribed an inhaler. Last night was the first unbroken sleep I've had in about four months. Thank goodness.

AND we've decided to put the house on the market immediately. I think we're both tired of just talking about it. The kitchen still needs to be finished but it's just a matter of painting and a few tweaks. We're looking at some properties in Blackheath on Saturday including a four-bed house which would be pretty amazing. I don't know what we'd do with all those rooms! I did speak to the estate agent about The Flat and it's been taken off of the market. The owners decided to stay there and sold another property they had outside of London. They were in their 30s and I do wonder if they had that 'we can't have children in the city' frame of mind. I'm sure Tobes running around the place, and any other families that looked at the flat, soon changed their minds. It was a great place but looks like it's not going to be ours.

Nikki lands in half an hour!

So I'll be busy for the next few days. Will write all about it soon!

I can hear my brain working

Went to the doc's yesterday for a hearing test. About six months ago I started hearing a high pitched static sound all the time. It's been driving me crazy so I went to the GP and was referred to a specialist. Saw the specialist yesterday.

My GP had suggested tinnitis, which surprised me. Even as a teenager I was always careful not to turn my Walkman up too loud because I didn't want to damage my hearing (yes, I've always been a nerd). The only thing I could think of were the many, many..... many nights at Club A in my late teens. Was I really going to lose my hearing from dancing to Erasure at top volume?!

Well, I don't have tinnitis. To put it as succinctly as possible - the noise I hear is the sound of my brain working. Apparently, it happens sometimes that a person is able to tune into their subconscious and hear the background noise of neural activity. Often this happens in times of stress or anxiety. It started with me after the second miscarriage. The prescription? Ignore it and eventually I'll top noticing it and it'll disappear into my subconscious again.

Very weird.

Jason has been so supportive. When I told him what the doc said he asked me if the sound of my brain working was a ticking sound like a clock and if it was getting slower. Even better, Mary asked me if it sounded like a squeak as the hamster ran on its wheel. Nothing like the care and support of family and friends.