A night in the life

6.30pm - Toby's bedtime but Rosie has decided that she wants to eat NOW so I'm making her bottle and rusk while Toby leaps around like a roadrunner on speed. He's definitely ready for bed.

6.34pm - Spill mushy rusk all over Rosie, her chair, her blanket and myself. Got to get us both changed before we can proceed. Oh good, she's done a poo as well. Toby rings J who is still at work 'Daddy, you need to come home. Mommy is going crazy."

7.00pm - Rosie is satisfied with leftover rusk and a full bottle. Trying to get Tobes into bed. Argument over which PJs to wear - Mr Incredible or Spiderman. The ones with a digger win. Convince Tobes that he can go to sleep without me sitting in his chair tonight and I go to living room with Rosie.

7.30pm - Toby still awake but now Rosie is crying. J walks in and I know I look like a crazy lady. Hand Rosie off to J. He hasn't taken his coat off yet. Go to check on Tobes. He's just dozing off so I try to sneak out of the room, step on a lego and wake him up. Oh bugger.

8.00pm - Tobes still awake and screaming in his bedroom. J has gone to grocery store because we have no food for dinner. Rosie is asleep and I'm sitting in the armchair, rocking slowly back and forth pretending I can't hear Toby.

8.05pm - Go back into Toby's room. Get him settled again and sit in his chair so he can fall asleep.

8.07pm - Rosie wakes up in living room and starts crying.

8.10pm - I'm in the living room holding a crying Rosie while Toby screams from his bedroom. "Mommy, I need you. Mommy, come and take care of ME!!"

8.11pm - Take crying Rosie into Toby's room, try to explain that he needs to go to sleep on his own. Make all loving noises, tuck him in, kiss and cuddle then quickly exit.

8.30pm - Rosie asleep in my lap in living room until I snap and shout "TOBY, STOP SHOUTING AND GO TO SLEEP!" Finally, silence from Toby's room but now must resettle Rosie.

9.15pm - J comes home and starts to make dinner. Both children asleep.

10.00pm - J brings me a hot meal and a cold drink and I want to weep with gratitude.

11.30pm - J and I go to bed after eating and talking about how life got so busy and how we're so tired. Then we realise that it's almost midnight. No wonder we're so tired.

12.15pm - Toby wakes up and starts coughing. I go in and give him a drink of water.

12.45pm - Toby still coughing. I go in and give him some cough medicine.

1.00am - Toby still coughing and now awake and upset. I go in and soothe him then pick him up to take him into our room. As I do I feel warm fluid run down my arm. I look at his bed and there's a yellow puddle slowing seeping into the mattress. His Pull-Up has leaked.

1.15am - In our bed with Tobes and J after changing Toby's PJs and stripping his bed. Think I still smell of wee but too tired to go wash again.

1.45am - Toby still coughing. J gets up and sets up the humidifier.

2.15am - Toby still coughing. I try getting him to sleep more upright, then more flat. He keeps coughing.

2.45am - I try to give Toby some nose drops because I think the mucous dripping down his throat is making him cough. He hates nose drops. At one point Toby screams "BOOGER!! BOOGER!! NEED TISSUE!!" at the same volume and level of panic that I might scream "SOMEONE HELP ME I'M BEING MURDERED!!" Amazingly, Rosie sleeps through all of this.

3.00am - All is quiet apart from Toby's snoring. I put a pillow over my head and fall back to sleep.

4.00am - Rosie wakes up and I get up to give her her dummy.

5.00am - Rosie gets the blanket stuck over her head and I get up to remove it.

6.30am - J gets up for work.

7.00am - I get up and get in the shower. Both children still asleep.

7.30am - Rosie awake and playing in her cot. Gives me a big 'Good Morning' smile when I pick her up. Got to wake Toby up. Toby opens one eye, huffs and says 'I didn't sleep enough yet Mommy. You kept me up all night."