Lately I've been feeling a real shift in our lives. I would say that since my early twenties life has been ticking along. Things have changed, the details of life have evolved but fundamentally life and I have stayed the same. Turning thirty was an important time but, for me, it was more an opportunity to reflect rather than a turning point in itself. I think we're reaching a real turning point now.
My grandmother, my last surviving grandparent, is very ill. She's in a nursing home and my Mom goes to see her twice a day to make sure that she eats. Her last stroke has left her unable to bring her hands to her mouth and she needs to be spoonfed. She's been suffering from dementia and lately it's started to get worse. Grandma doesn't always know for certain who my mother is.
I remember visiting my great-grandmother, Grandma's mother, in a nursing home in very similiar circumstances. We would take her chocolate malts and she would think that I was Mom and call me Linda. It all sounds frighteningly familliar and I've started to think about the day when it's my mother who is ill and I'm the one telling Rosie and Toby to come and see her before it's too late. It feels like life is this big rusty wheel, turning very slowly, but relentlessly.
How will I deal with these issues when I'm so far away?
A lot of talk about children, husbands, homes, food, travels and everything else that makes up domestic bliss.
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3 comments:
you take a deep breath, bow you head and say thank you for the strength your grandmom had, you remember the good times, dread the sad and then you raise your head and look into the eyes of those who love you who are all around you and you go forward. life is always changing, some times for the better, sometimes for the sad and scary. but love never ends. it is always with you, 4,385 miles away. i speak from experience. love, mary catherine's nana
I totally understand what you mean Katherine.. I have the same issues and worry about them constantly.
:)
Here's what we have going for US: we get along and can at least bask in the knowledge that there won't be of us kids having to go through this alone. We have each other to lean on and help out. And i think we're all reasonable enough to talk and agree on the course of action in the future. But you can't spend your life waiting for the worst to happen. Otherwise, all the good stuff will pass you by before you realize it.
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