I should definitely be sleeping. We're having friends over for lunch tomorrow and I'm doing the full English Sunday lunch - roast beef, roast potatoes and honey roasted parsnips, various veg and even Yorkshire puds. I need to be well-rested. I went a bit mad with the beef. I always worry about not having enough and ended up hauling about half a cow home. J will be eating roast beef sandwiches for lunch all week.
Had an unsettling dream last night and woke up with the blues this morning. In the dream I realised that we should be living in the US and it all seemed so clear and straightforward. Didn't seem simple in the light of day, still the same complicated, difficult decisions. Anyone reading this has probably heard me say this before but, when you love two countries you never really feel at home in either one. You're always missing the other one. Ugh. So true.
On a happier note, my sister is in Chicago now at a post-grad fair thingy. Lots of universities meet up and interview potential post-grad students and my sister is one of the students attending. Her first degree is in stage design and she wants to take it further with a Masters. I'm so excited for her. UC San Diego are flying her out for an interview later this month and I know she'll get lots of interest at the fair. She's also applied to St Martins here in London (how much would I love that!!) and in a couple of years I'm sure you'll be seeing her work on Broadway... or the West End in London... or anywhere there's groundbreaking theatre design. She's so cool. I wish I had half of her confidence.
I remember when Nikki was little and in pee wee drill team. She must've been about 9 so I was about 18. They were doing officer try outs and the girls were put into groups of two or three to audition. It worked out that Nikki would have to audition on her own. I was suddenly gripped with anxiety for her. The thought of dancing on my own in front of a bunch of judges and an audience of my peers would've made me wet my pants and probably throw up at the same time. When I asked Nikki if she was OK with it she smiled a big smile and said, 'Yea, it's great! It means they'll only be looking at me.' What a gal!
And now I must try to sleep. Got to build up my strength to cook Ermintrude tomorrow. Hope the Yorkshires turn out OK. This is the first time I've made them. Night night!
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3 comments:
and i am bringing hamburger helper?! holy cow..no pun intended...a full roast beef dinner? i feel ashamed to feed you and your family velveeta, hamburger helper, pudding and chips ahoy! i think 'liz feels torn some times as well about which side of the ocean to be on. it is hard for us mamas 4385 miles away as well. have a good week and keep the fun things coming on your blog.
you were awake at 153 - i was up at 545 both mornings this past weekend. everyone else was asleep, oh but not me. i don't think i have to tell you that i understand being expat, as my mother already beat me to it. :) it's very hard and i think until you're in the situation that we both are, you really don't understand. i find it so frustrating that i have to really just not think about it, because if i did i'd probably cry a lot and go slightly crazy. well -crazier. :)
Believe me, Nana, if I had any of those things we would've eaten them instead. But I wouldn't have had guests over because I would've wanted it all to myself!
The expat thing is tough sometimes. Most of the time it's fine but every once in a while it can be soooo hard.
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